Calzone
Gear Whore #1
I’m actually happy with the portraits I made today of John for the Peekskill Herald.
They are somewhat posed, but they read as street shots, even though they were taken in my driveway by the white painted cedar fence I installed with a gate.
Let’s see what my editor chooses to publish.
I think the T-shirt shot is a shot I would want to print because it displays some personality: “Captain Law.” It has some attitude.
Cal
They are somewhat posed, but they read as street shots, even though they were taken in my driveway by the white painted cedar fence I installed with a gate.
Let’s see what my editor chooses to publish.
I think the T-shirt shot is a shot I would want to print because it displays some personality: “Captain Law.” It has some attitude.
Cal
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
Because I’m a Lazy-Slacker, and because my old PowerBook has a dead battery, I had “Maggie” load the J-PEG’s onto her computer and E-mail them to me. Then all I do is forward the shots to Regina the Editor.
Maggie just finished writing an article for the Peekskill Herald. She spent all day working on it and pretty much she hammers away. We had dinner late because she wanted to finish. I cooked. No exercise, too much sitting, and not really eating.
Now you know why she has physical therapy.
I found it funny because Maggie said that my shots did not look like portraits. It would be better to say they are not boring pictures that are sterile.
I mentioned the Richard Avedone photos he took with an 8x10 of celebs. Andy Warhol lifted his shirt to show the bullet holes made by one of his groupies who cornered him in elevator and emptied a 38 into him. I think the groupies name was Viva.
I got no response. “Ha-ha,” I say.
Interesting how she thinks of a portrait in a rigid traditional manner.
Anyways I’m trying to do something artful and interesting, and already it is not appreciated. I am laughing. Oh-well.
Besides the walk today I did pull-ups, but three max sets: an 8, a 7, and then another 7. These were done throughout the day, so plenty of rest. I figure this is an easy way to build up to 10-12.
I had a good day that was fun. I played with my gear and though of how great it is to have a camera museum.
BTW I’m glad I have this audience because Maggie really does not understand or appreciate what I do. Oh-well.
Cal
Maggie just finished writing an article for the Peekskill Herald. She spent all day working on it and pretty much she hammers away. We had dinner late because she wanted to finish. I cooked. No exercise, too much sitting, and not really eating.
Now you know why she has physical therapy.
I found it funny because Maggie said that my shots did not look like portraits. It would be better to say they are not boring pictures that are sterile.
I mentioned the Richard Avedone photos he took with an 8x10 of celebs. Andy Warhol lifted his shirt to show the bullet holes made by one of his groupies who cornered him in elevator and emptied a 38 into him. I think the groupies name was Viva.
I got no response. “Ha-ha,” I say.
Interesting how she thinks of a portrait in a rigid traditional manner.
Anyways I’m trying to do something artful and interesting, and already it is not appreciated. I am laughing. Oh-well.
Besides the walk today I did pull-ups, but three max sets: an 8, a 7, and then another 7. These were done throughout the day, so plenty of rest. I figure this is an easy way to build up to 10-12.
I had a good day that was fun. I played with my gear and though of how great it is to have a camera museum.
BTW I’m glad I have this audience because Maggie really does not understand or appreciate what I do. Oh-well.
Cal
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
Woodstock Book Festival. This is small compared to the venues held in the fall.
Woodstock is only a 53 minutes away from Peekskill. This event being small is somewhat localized but that is not a bad thing.
We will surely meet people and make new friends who are creatives.
Cal
Woodstock is only a 53 minutes away from Peekskill. This event being small is somewhat localized but that is not a bad thing.
We will surely meet people and make new friends who are creatives.
Cal
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
Back from Woodstock. The book festival gave me a lot to think about.
Of course made many new friends, and met many serious writers. Elissa Altman was one of them.
“Maggie’s” panel discussion went well.
When we drove up it was through a very hard rain, and the event was at the Bearsville Theater. This was a very nice venue that was an updated and remodeled big barn next to a roaring creek. The complex included a bar, and these other out buildings. Formally it also was a notable recording studio.
I ended up learning a lot about myself, my writing, and pretty much even my writing has a performance element to it because it kinda does well as spoken word.
Maggie has a relationship with Elissa Altman who I got to know. She is a non-fiction writer of 5 books that received big time awards and honors. Somehow I spoke of how my writing lays dormant, and the process and path that I was on. I got a lot of encouragement, and upon a a warm goodbye was told to contact her if I wanted to. Hmmm…
It seems clear more than ever that I am a performer that is very engaging. At the bed & breakfast we met a couple from Maine: Phil is retired, but was involved with radio and TV production; Melissa is a PodCaster. The hostess of the B&B whispered to Maggie that I am a performer, and later Maggie told me what he said.
Our breakfast ended up being like a talk show. LOL.
So now I have all these writers interested in my writing, and it boils down to how I unshackled myself and earned my freedom by retiring. From the powerful memoir panel I heard all the panelists say they write what they want. There is this notion of a script that is described as the outside pressures of culture and society that got imposed on them that somehow they learned to shrug off.
Do I want to tell my story?
Woodstock is a mature charming creative community, and it is as if 1960 never ended. Maggie got some smut from a 35 year old hipster who moved up to Woodstock 8 years ago from Brooklyn. He told Maggie that he kinda was closed out of the creative community for a while, but is making inroads by working in the local bookstore. He is a writer.
Anyways I was inspired, and I am provoked to think. Not sure I see a path that leads somewhere.
I can compare my situation as being similar to a black person in the antebellum era after the Civil War. Former slaves were free and had to figure out an negotiate a path forward. Freedom caused an unsettled confusion in that era.
I know working a day job is not slavery, but it is not what or who I am, so it was like self imprisonment to earn the freedom I now enjoy.
Not sure where I’m heading, but I’m not in a rush. Seems like the ground swell is winding down for Maggie, and perhaps I might keep wandering along until I find my way.
Cal
Of course made many new friends, and met many serious writers. Elissa Altman was one of them.
“Maggie’s” panel discussion went well.
When we drove up it was through a very hard rain, and the event was at the Bearsville Theater. This was a very nice venue that was an updated and remodeled big barn next to a roaring creek. The complex included a bar, and these other out buildings. Formally it also was a notable recording studio.
I ended up learning a lot about myself, my writing, and pretty much even my writing has a performance element to it because it kinda does well as spoken word.
Maggie has a relationship with Elissa Altman who I got to know. She is a non-fiction writer of 5 books that received big time awards and honors. Somehow I spoke of how my writing lays dormant, and the process and path that I was on. I got a lot of encouragement, and upon a a warm goodbye was told to contact her if I wanted to. Hmmm…
It seems clear more than ever that I am a performer that is very engaging. At the bed & breakfast we met a couple from Maine: Phil is retired, but was involved with radio and TV production; Melissa is a PodCaster. The hostess of the B&B whispered to Maggie that I am a performer, and later Maggie told me what he said.
Our breakfast ended up being like a talk show. LOL.
So now I have all these writers interested in my writing, and it boils down to how I unshackled myself and earned my freedom by retiring. From the powerful memoir panel I heard all the panelists say they write what they want. There is this notion of a script that is described as the outside pressures of culture and society that got imposed on them that somehow they learned to shrug off.
Do I want to tell my story?
Woodstock is a mature charming creative community, and it is as if 1960 never ended. Maggie got some smut from a 35 year old hipster who moved up to Woodstock 8 years ago from Brooklyn. He told Maggie that he kinda was closed out of the creative community for a while, but is making inroads by working in the local bookstore. He is a writer.
Anyways I was inspired, and I am provoked to think. Not sure I see a path that leads somewhere.
I can compare my situation as being similar to a black person in the antebellum era after the Civil War. Former slaves were free and had to figure out an negotiate a path forward. Freedom caused an unsettled confusion in that era.
I know working a day job is not slavery, but it is not what or who I am, so it was like self imprisonment to earn the freedom I now enjoy.
Not sure where I’m heading, but I’m not in a rush. Seems like the ground swell is winding down for Maggie, and perhaps I might keep wandering along until I find my way.
Cal
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Calzone
Gear Whore #1
I was in Woodstock when this man introduces himself as the Executive Director of Planning and Economic Development for the City of Peekskill. Evidently he lives in Woodstock.
Kinda odd, but also “Maggie” and I are known enough that stuff like this happens.
********************
I realize that I earned my freedom by working a day job. This freedom is somewhat unsettling because it is an opportunity to actually become what I want. Not that this is disturbing or bad, but this liberation could have consequences, liabilities, and possibilities.
I am somewhat a public figure already because of Maggie’s fame. Not sure I like being in the public eye and the attention, yet we are being drawn into these circles.
I can see writing a new version of my memoir, a better book than I wrote before. There are mentors that see promise and have offered help. This of course involves putting myself out there, involves being vulnerable, and this is where it can get scary.
I have an interesting voice in my writing that is somewhat conversational. I also am somewhat of an actor, and even in this embedded blog is a persona. All my art degrees support an arc that suggests I want to and need to move beyond the confused state I’m in to grow.
Abstract art as a painter to process jumbled thoughts; Broadcast Journalism to be able to tell a story in 6-7 sentences; Screenwriting to be able to tell a story with a beginning, a middle, and an end in the third person; and lastly a MFA in Creative Non-Fiction to be able to write in the first person.
Anyways this seems to be where I’m heading now. I kind of have a safe place to do this work, and the break I took makes time the best editor.
Anyways, not sure I can do what Maggie did with promoting her book. At this point I have nothing to loose, and if my book never gets published I’m also cool with that.
Maggie is quitting Instagram. One writer who moderated a panel this weekend actually has created a digital magazine using SubStack. I can see me doing something on SubStack to build out a “platform.” This might not be enough, but pretty much that’s all I’m willing to do.
Anyways this is something to do. Doing a magazine kinda makes sense instead of a blog or website. In a way it could be a journal like I do here…
Cal
Kinda odd, but also “Maggie” and I are known enough that stuff like this happens.
********************
I realize that I earned my freedom by working a day job. This freedom is somewhat unsettling because it is an opportunity to actually become what I want. Not that this is disturbing or bad, but this liberation could have consequences, liabilities, and possibilities.
I am somewhat a public figure already because of Maggie’s fame. Not sure I like being in the public eye and the attention, yet we are being drawn into these circles.
I can see writing a new version of my memoir, a better book than I wrote before. There are mentors that see promise and have offered help. This of course involves putting myself out there, involves being vulnerable, and this is where it can get scary.
I have an interesting voice in my writing that is somewhat conversational. I also am somewhat of an actor, and even in this embedded blog is a persona. All my art degrees support an arc that suggests I want to and need to move beyond the confused state I’m in to grow.
Abstract art as a painter to process jumbled thoughts; Broadcast Journalism to be able to tell a story in 6-7 sentences; Screenwriting to be able to tell a story with a beginning, a middle, and an end in the third person; and lastly a MFA in Creative Non-Fiction to be able to write in the first person.
Anyways this seems to be where I’m heading now. I kind of have a safe place to do this work, and the break I took makes time the best editor.
Anyways, not sure I can do what Maggie did with promoting her book. At this point I have nothing to loose, and if my book never gets published I’m also cool with that.
Maggie is quitting Instagram. One writer who moderated a panel this weekend actually has created a digital magazine using SubStack. I can see me doing something on SubStack to build out a “platform.” This might not be enough, but pretty much that’s all I’m willing to do.
Anyways this is something to do. Doing a magazine kinda makes sense instead of a blog or website. In a way it could be a journal like I do here…
Cal
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
It seems like SubStack could work for me.
The idea is a place to journal and share, a kinda lifestyle magazine.
Might use “Lazy-Slacker” as my guide post.
Part like a website, some journaling like here, perhaps some regular columns like “Don’t Tell Maggie.” Or “I was just minding my own business,” “Cheap-cheap-cheap.”
A section called “This Old Camera” and another “This Old Bike.” “This Old Amp.”
A health and fitness journal.
Possible Public Service article describing CAD (Cold Agglutinin Disease). A rare disease.
I think possible interviews or profiles of people I meet.
Photography, photographs, book-making.
Another heading could be “Rants.” Could even have a finance section.
This could be a place to really annoy a lot of people by just being me.
I kinda learned that Instagram was not favored by many writers, but some used that platform. Twitter was under the radar, and so was FaceBook.
I figure what would work for me is just to create on SubStack because it would be easier for me to just cultivate lust one platform well to create the audience I need. Remember I’m a performer.
Cal
The idea is a place to journal and share, a kinda lifestyle magazine.
Might use “Lazy-Slacker” as my guide post.
Part like a website, some journaling like here, perhaps some regular columns like “Don’t Tell Maggie.” Or “I was just minding my own business,” “Cheap-cheap-cheap.”
A section called “This Old Camera” and another “This Old Bike.” “This Old Amp.”
A health and fitness journal.
Possible Public Service article describing CAD (Cold Agglutinin Disease). A rare disease.
I think possible interviews or profiles of people I meet.
Photography, photographs, book-making.
Another heading could be “Rants.” Could even have a finance section.
This could be a place to really annoy a lot of people by just being me.
I kinda learned that Instagram was not favored by many writers, but some used that platform. Twitter was under the radar, and so was FaceBook.
I figure what would work for me is just to create on SubStack because it would be easier for me to just cultivate lust one platform well to create the audience I need. Remember I’m a performer.
Cal
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Calzone
Gear Whore #1
I woke up early today, but I lay in bed trying to fall back asleep for an hour, but could not manage to doze back off.
A lot of processing and distilling has to happen, and I had thoughts flashing and racing alerting my mind from rest.
I have been in a somewhat dormant state, a bit lost in transition in retirement, and meanwhile also making an adjustment into retirement. On top of that I helped “Maggie” write a book through picking up the slack and supporting her. The Baby-Victorian also has been a distraction.
The weekend was restful, but full at the same time, with no time to fully process all the events. It is almost like shooting film where you only find out what you really have or gained after the film is developed.
In earlier posts I was foggy and lacked the clarity that I am finally experiencing now/today. I can say that I feel compelled today to become a writer. I really don’t have any choice because I know and see the talent, and pretty much at this point it is a responsibility because I have the gift.
Seems like destiny that I was groomed to stand out the way I do, so the discomfort of being a public figure I will have to deal with. It would be a tragedy to be oppressed, silenced, and for my voice not to write, especially if self censorship.
I realize that after September 11th I had all this unresolved grief, and that I used writing and getting a MFA as a means to empty a full bucket. I was maxed out with all the sadness I was capable of enduring. Things I thought had been resolved were still open wounds and that writing of that first draft of a memoir was just that, a first draft, a beginning middle and end that made sense that told a story.
I was emotionally depleted from processing pain, and here is the timeline: the 2007-2008 housing crisis and credit crisis triggered in me abruptly ending writing and going all in with photography. I bought a 35 Cron Version 4 and a 75 Lux version 2 at great prices during the credit crunch initially as investments. It was a year later that I bought the Ti M6 prototype.
Intuitively I shot film that I would later learn was because I was searching for permanence and a tangible sense of home because I knew one day we would have to leave NYC. I was obsessed and in a frenzy of sorts, and I’m glad I did this work.
Good writing is rewriting. Maggie wrote a first draft, but pretty much it got rewritten and organized into not only a better book, but a very different book. The key here is the complete rewriting, but the outpouring and spilling the guts is the foundation for the “real” writing. In a ways the entire first draft is just an exercise.
It took longer for Maggie to write her first draft, even though sections were “lifted” from her blog. The second draft she says she wrote in 4 months, but this might be an exaggeration. Then there was all theses layers of editing. 4-months is a very blurry line…
I also see and witnessed how marketing and promotion is pretty much the responsibility of the author, but I already know I am a great salesman as well as a performer who is a drama queen. Don’t forget I was a performance artist for a decade.
I would frame the Woodstock Book Festival as non-fiction centric. When a joke was made that fiction writers are happier it kinda made sense. The purpose of non-fiction is not to hurt or damage people or revenge. There has to be somewhat of a balance to protect the living and respecting privacy while writing truth. Writing non-fiction is more complicated.
Some publishers I learned actually have lists of words writers can’t use. The word Cunt was mentioned and the woman moderator who put together this weekend said I would have a problem with that because she is writing a book on Porn. It was a cute joke, but in a later follow through I asked her privately if what she said was true or a joke.
She is writing that book on Porn, and I can’t wait to read it. Somehow this involves the life of a 90 something woman who told her stories of her life. Martha is a non-fiction writer.
Other examples were just censorship. Kinda crazy. Restriction of freedom of speech…
I realize now I was exhausted after emptying some heavy trauma, and I needed a break and a distraction. Photography filled that gap, In photography I found out that time is the best editor. Iconic shots remain so. The same is true with a story and good writing, both endure over time. They don’t become yesterday’s news or become stale.
I find I am being drawn into a community, the timing is right, and I think I have found a safe place.
Cal
A lot of processing and distilling has to happen, and I had thoughts flashing and racing alerting my mind from rest.
I have been in a somewhat dormant state, a bit lost in transition in retirement, and meanwhile also making an adjustment into retirement. On top of that I helped “Maggie” write a book through picking up the slack and supporting her. The Baby-Victorian also has been a distraction.
The weekend was restful, but full at the same time, with no time to fully process all the events. It is almost like shooting film where you only find out what you really have or gained after the film is developed.
In earlier posts I was foggy and lacked the clarity that I am finally experiencing now/today. I can say that I feel compelled today to become a writer. I really don’t have any choice because I know and see the talent, and pretty much at this point it is a responsibility because I have the gift.
Seems like destiny that I was groomed to stand out the way I do, so the discomfort of being a public figure I will have to deal with. It would be a tragedy to be oppressed, silenced, and for my voice not to write, especially if self censorship.
I realize that after September 11th I had all this unresolved grief, and that I used writing and getting a MFA as a means to empty a full bucket. I was maxed out with all the sadness I was capable of enduring. Things I thought had been resolved were still open wounds and that writing of that first draft of a memoir was just that, a first draft, a beginning middle and end that made sense that told a story.
I was emotionally depleted from processing pain, and here is the timeline: the 2007-2008 housing crisis and credit crisis triggered in me abruptly ending writing and going all in with photography. I bought a 35 Cron Version 4 and a 75 Lux version 2 at great prices during the credit crunch initially as investments. It was a year later that I bought the Ti M6 prototype.
Intuitively I shot film that I would later learn was because I was searching for permanence and a tangible sense of home because I knew one day we would have to leave NYC. I was obsessed and in a frenzy of sorts, and I’m glad I did this work.
Good writing is rewriting. Maggie wrote a first draft, but pretty much it got rewritten and organized into not only a better book, but a very different book. The key here is the complete rewriting, but the outpouring and spilling the guts is the foundation for the “real” writing. In a ways the entire first draft is just an exercise.
It took longer for Maggie to write her first draft, even though sections were “lifted” from her blog. The second draft she says she wrote in 4 months, but this might be an exaggeration. Then there was all theses layers of editing. 4-months is a very blurry line…
I also see and witnessed how marketing and promotion is pretty much the responsibility of the author, but I already know I am a great salesman as well as a performer who is a drama queen. Don’t forget I was a performance artist for a decade.
I would frame the Woodstock Book Festival as non-fiction centric. When a joke was made that fiction writers are happier it kinda made sense. The purpose of non-fiction is not to hurt or damage people or revenge. There has to be somewhat of a balance to protect the living and respecting privacy while writing truth. Writing non-fiction is more complicated.
Some publishers I learned actually have lists of words writers can’t use. The word Cunt was mentioned and the woman moderator who put together this weekend said I would have a problem with that because she is writing a book on Porn. It was a cute joke, but in a later follow through I asked her privately if what she said was true or a joke.
She is writing that book on Porn, and I can’t wait to read it. Somehow this involves the life of a 90 something woman who told her stories of her life. Martha is a non-fiction writer.
Other examples were just censorship. Kinda crazy. Restriction of freedom of speech…
I realize now I was exhausted after emptying some heavy trauma, and I needed a break and a distraction. Photography filled that gap, In photography I found out that time is the best editor. Iconic shots remain so. The same is true with a story and good writing, both endure over time. They don’t become yesterday’s news or become stale.
I find I am being drawn into a community, the timing is right, and I think I have found a safe place.
Cal
Last edited:
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
One profound thing I learned from the panel that “Maggie” was on was pretty much with age that these women presented themselves as being at their age that they are the happiest they have ever been.
Some of it was not being swept up into the BS. The other thing was a product of aging and accepting aging in a manner of acceptance and living their “best lives.”
I kinda feel swept up in this acceptance that leads to peace. They were people who lived without remorse and all that mattered was the moment that was now.
As you can tell I’m in that space. I feel so privileged because life is so great, but I think of those less fortunate, and I am aware than most and many will ever experience this state of being or accomplishment.
What I really learned this weekend is about freedom, freedom I have, and for me retiring early was a blessing at the age of 62. This Thanksgiving will mark 4-years of retirement. Four years of growth, searching, and grounding myself. Four years of wandering and wondering to finally find my way.
I had thought I just wanted to move forward, not be stuck in the past, but I now recognize my essence, who I am, and who I must be.
Things make sense now: I have been on a long journey…
Cal
Some of it was not being swept up into the BS. The other thing was a product of aging and accepting aging in a manner of acceptance and living their “best lives.”
I kinda feel swept up in this acceptance that leads to peace. They were people who lived without remorse and all that mattered was the moment that was now.
As you can tell I’m in that space. I feel so privileged because life is so great, but I think of those less fortunate, and I am aware than most and many will ever experience this state of being or accomplishment.
What I really learned this weekend is about freedom, freedom I have, and for me retiring early was a blessing at the age of 62. This Thanksgiving will mark 4-years of retirement. Four years of growth, searching, and grounding myself. Four years of wandering and wondering to finally find my way.
I had thought I just wanted to move forward, not be stuck in the past, but I now recognize my essence, who I am, and who I must be.
Things make sense now: I have been on a long journey…
Cal
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
The initial first printing of “Maggie’s” book was only about 14.6K books, and the number of books sold in the first week exceeded 11K already.
Timeline: March 12th book release at the New York Public Library; last week Tamron Hall Show.
Pretty much the first printing I’m thinking already is likely sold out by now, and it is a day more than two weeks today. Remember the first 11K is only the first week of sales, this is only the hard cover book sales. That this does not include the audiobook.
Maggie’s book is also now a “Best Seller” on the list of Independent Atlantic Book Stores.
The ground swell continues…
This is only the beginning and as traction happens Maggie’s book could become the best selling book that I predicted. So far a jump start.
***************
Separately our agent kinda negotiated a vacation for us. Not sure if we want to do a big cruise from Vancouver to Alaska.
One question is for us would be if it would be alright if they sold Maggie’s book on the cruise ship. Talk about a captive audience… This gets weird fast. A kinda crazy experience for sure. A kinda funny situation that you can’t make up.
*************
So having one writer in a household is kinda crazy, but now perhaps two. I can see me also exploiting and using photography. Our community is just getting bigger
I have a Hematologist appointment and later a memorial service for an ex-friend’s father. I’m sure parts of this might be awkward, but oh-well. I want to celebrate the life of a man who was like a father to me who was an important man in my life.
Cal
Timeline: March 12th book release at the New York Public Library; last week Tamron Hall Show.
Pretty much the first printing I’m thinking already is likely sold out by now, and it is a day more than two weeks today. Remember the first 11K is only the first week of sales, this is only the hard cover book sales. That this does not include the audiobook.
Maggie’s book is also now a “Best Seller” on the list of Independent Atlantic Book Stores.
The ground swell continues…
This is only the beginning and as traction happens Maggie’s book could become the best selling book that I predicted. So far a jump start.
***************
Separately our agent kinda negotiated a vacation for us. Not sure if we want to do a big cruise from Vancouver to Alaska.
One question is for us would be if it would be alright if they sold Maggie’s book on the cruise ship. Talk about a captive audience… This gets weird fast. A kinda crazy experience for sure. A kinda funny situation that you can’t make up.
*************
So having one writer in a household is kinda crazy, but now perhaps two. I can see me also exploiting and using photography. Our community is just getting bigger
I have a Hematologist appointment and later a memorial service for an ex-friend’s father. I’m sure parts of this might be awkward, but oh-well. I want to celebrate the life of a man who was like a father to me who was an important man in my life.
Cal
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
“Maggie” thought she had a radio interview, but the podcast actually was some TV station in Chicago.
Oh-well. Know she was not really dressed for TV, but the interview that was short still was great.
Cal
Oh-well. Know she was not really dressed for TV, but the interview that was short still was great.
Cal
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
It is always odd going to see a Hematologist because it means being in the arenas of Oncology and Cancer.
While my high levels of IgM antibodies is in the area of uncontrolled growth, it is not Cancer.
Then in these areas of a hospital you are among very ill and sick patients who some might be dying, yet I an not sick, ill or in any form of distress. In fact I am asymptomatic and am considered a “medical mystery” because my high IgM levels of antibodies would suggest a very sick patient.
I was first diagnosed with Cold Agglutinin Disease when I was 49, and now I’m 66, so at least 17 years of stability with no disease progression. My new Hematologists suggests that this long period of stability might mean that this is likely to remain the case, but of course aging might mean a slow down of my vigorous red blood cell production that keeps me from being or getting anemic.
There will be some testing to see if my CAD is promoting a lowered response to fighting infections. Might or might not be.
So overall the prognosis for a normal healthy lifespan kinda remains intact.
I’ll find out the results soon.
For a decade I was tested quarterly and monitored for a watch and wait. I was so stable that we decided that further continued testing was a waste, but now I’m 66 and it still is a watch and wait, but on an annual level. No big deal.
Cal
While my high levels of IgM antibodies is in the area of uncontrolled growth, it is not Cancer.
Then in these areas of a hospital you are among very ill and sick patients who some might be dying, yet I an not sick, ill or in any form of distress. In fact I am asymptomatic and am considered a “medical mystery” because my high IgM levels of antibodies would suggest a very sick patient.
I was first diagnosed with Cold Agglutinin Disease when I was 49, and now I’m 66, so at least 17 years of stability with no disease progression. My new Hematologists suggests that this long period of stability might mean that this is likely to remain the case, but of course aging might mean a slow down of my vigorous red blood cell production that keeps me from being or getting anemic.
There will be some testing to see if my CAD is promoting a lowered response to fighting infections. Might or might not be.
So overall the prognosis for a normal healthy lifespan kinda remains intact.
I’ll find out the results soon.
For a decade I was tested quarterly and monitored for a watch and wait. I was so stable that we decided that further continued testing was a waste, but now I’m 66 and it still is a watch and wait, but on an annual level. No big deal.
Cal
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
There is a bookstore in Rhinebeck that will be featuring an event. Already almost 100 people registered to attend.
Yesterday “Maggie” had an event at the Cosmopolitan Club on the Upper East Side. This is a private club of old money and blue-bloods for women. Their library committee set up the event, but because interest was so great they had to get a larger room and change the date. About 50 women attended.
I was also invited to attend the dinner afterwards, but I had my doctor’s appointment and memorial service to attend to.
One of the persons on the Library Commitee mentioned to Maggie that Shakespeare Books on 66th and Lex has her book in a prominently displayed location surrounded by current best selling non-fiction authors. The club was near the bookstore so she went in to investigate and she was surrounded yet again by famous established authors yet again.
It seems like Maggie has garnered mucho support from independent booksellers. She is on the Atlantic best seller’s list I think at number 22.
Did you know that Bank of America started out as a small local bank in California around the time of the earthquake and fires that destroyed San Francisco?
The business model was to offer banking to the “little-guy” and the underserved. The man who started the bank was an Italian immigrant.
I tried to get a mortgage from BOA, but they kinda sucked and was painful to deal with in every manner. I became discouraged and found a better mortgage lender that was easy to deal with.
Basically my money was good elsewhere. The story here is the early example of business model.
I guess also there is a moral to the BOA story too, and that is not to forget or abandon your roots.
Ron lived till 85, and in fact he died on his birthday. In looking through the photos of his life, as a kid he was handsome, but as he aged he lost his good looks.
As his looks faded, as he aged, you could see in his eyes this glow of confidence that endured. Ron was a performer, a guitarist, a singer, and in the Lester Lanel Orchestra. Ron reported that he played before the Queen of England and 4 U.S. Presidents.
He was the frontman in this high society band, and many times he really was the band leader. In his guitar shop we would hang out into the night. It was after midnight one day and his son, my friend at the time, and Cris who worked there had left. Ron picked up a guitar and started in telling me about a high society event of really-really wealthy people who pretty much were so stiff and proper that he had to loosen them up.
“I started plucking a string like this,” and he just played a very simple and basic bass line, and on cue when Ron said, “Bass” the bass player seamlessly took over.
Then he tapped out a beat on the guitar top and said drums.
Then he added the horn section and they added in a ah-hummm somewhere in the rhythm presented.
Ron explained that after a few minutes of this arranging and improv that the an audience gathered around the bandstand and pretty much they all wondered what is going on here and what is going to happen.
By now the entire band was involved, but it was still an abstraction of sound and of jumbled parts, and it was in that moment that Ron turned his back to the audience, danced to a 0ne-two-three-four, and then turned around and started singing “I can’t Wait Till The Midnight Hour.”
The party began.
Ron is a man who taught me about performance. He was an old hippy who told me not to rush. Play music like having sex with a super model, relish every moment and don’t come too quick. In other words make every note count.
Ron was very good friends with John Lennon. He told me a story where he had to go to the Dakota because they did their “sleep-ins” and he actually got into bed with John and Yoko to handle their business.
Know that May Pai, John Lennon’s mistress, stayed at Ron’s house as a hide out from Yoko.
At one point in my life I rented a small apartment and lived pretty much at May Pai’s hideout. I also worked at the guitar shop.
It was a family business and I became part of the family. My friend Cris also was part of this family.
My friend Cris lost his father who died young, I too had lost my family, so we were both orphaned kids that were kinda taken in. The holes in our lives were filled, and Ron was like a father for us.
Here was a man who had a lot of pride, but he went to jail and never was the same. He abandoned his family and stayed out of the spotlight. The man I knew and loved was gone, but I love him enough to understand why he disappeared.
I will always remember the man I knew that helped me grow up even though I was not a kid. I saw a lot of people at the memorial that I have known over the decades. Ron will not be forgotten.
Not a lot was spoken between me and my old once friend. I became more engaged with his brother in law and his brother who I didn’t really get along with, but awkwardness was avoided.
The traffic and congestion on Long Island is horrific. Pretty much all stop and go from the Throgsneck Bridge all the way to Lindenhurst. Which is the border of Suffolk County. The situation is so bad it is a reason to leave Long Island.
Cal
Yesterday “Maggie” had an event at the Cosmopolitan Club on the Upper East Side. This is a private club of old money and blue-bloods for women. Their library committee set up the event, but because interest was so great they had to get a larger room and change the date. About 50 women attended.
I was also invited to attend the dinner afterwards, but I had my doctor’s appointment and memorial service to attend to.
One of the persons on the Library Commitee mentioned to Maggie that Shakespeare Books on 66th and Lex has her book in a prominently displayed location surrounded by current best selling non-fiction authors. The club was near the bookstore so she went in to investigate and she was surrounded yet again by famous established authors yet again.
It seems like Maggie has garnered mucho support from independent booksellers. She is on the Atlantic best seller’s list I think at number 22.
Did you know that Bank of America started out as a small local bank in California around the time of the earthquake and fires that destroyed San Francisco?
The business model was to offer banking to the “little-guy” and the underserved. The man who started the bank was an Italian immigrant.
I tried to get a mortgage from BOA, but they kinda sucked and was painful to deal with in every manner. I became discouraged and found a better mortgage lender that was easy to deal with.
Basically my money was good elsewhere. The story here is the early example of business model.
I guess also there is a moral to the BOA story too, and that is not to forget or abandon your roots.
Ron lived till 85, and in fact he died on his birthday. In looking through the photos of his life, as a kid he was handsome, but as he aged he lost his good looks.
As his looks faded, as he aged, you could see in his eyes this glow of confidence that endured. Ron was a performer, a guitarist, a singer, and in the Lester Lanel Orchestra. Ron reported that he played before the Queen of England and 4 U.S. Presidents.
He was the frontman in this high society band, and many times he really was the band leader. In his guitar shop we would hang out into the night. It was after midnight one day and his son, my friend at the time, and Cris who worked there had left. Ron picked up a guitar and started in telling me about a high society event of really-really wealthy people who pretty much were so stiff and proper that he had to loosen them up.
“I started plucking a string like this,” and he just played a very simple and basic bass line, and on cue when Ron said, “Bass” the bass player seamlessly took over.
Then he tapped out a beat on the guitar top and said drums.
Then he added the horn section and they added in a ah-hummm somewhere in the rhythm presented.
Ron explained that after a few minutes of this arranging and improv that the an audience gathered around the bandstand and pretty much they all wondered what is going on here and what is going to happen.
By now the entire band was involved, but it was still an abstraction of sound and of jumbled parts, and it was in that moment that Ron turned his back to the audience, danced to a 0ne-two-three-four, and then turned around and started singing “I can’t Wait Till The Midnight Hour.”
The party began.
Ron is a man who taught me about performance. He was an old hippy who told me not to rush. Play music like having sex with a super model, relish every moment and don’t come too quick. In other words make every note count.
Ron was very good friends with John Lennon. He told me a story where he had to go to the Dakota because they did their “sleep-ins” and he actually got into bed with John and Yoko to handle their business.
Know that May Pai, John Lennon’s mistress, stayed at Ron’s house as a hide out from Yoko.
At one point in my life I rented a small apartment and lived pretty much at May Pai’s hideout. I also worked at the guitar shop.
It was a family business and I became part of the family. My friend Cris also was part of this family.
My friend Cris lost his father who died young, I too had lost my family, so we were both orphaned kids that were kinda taken in. The holes in our lives were filled, and Ron was like a father for us.
Here was a man who had a lot of pride, but he went to jail and never was the same. He abandoned his family and stayed out of the spotlight. The man I knew and loved was gone, but I love him enough to understand why he disappeared.
I will always remember the man I knew that helped me grow up even though I was not a kid. I saw a lot of people at the memorial that I have known over the decades. Ron will not be forgotten.
Not a lot was spoken between me and my old once friend. I became more engaged with his brother in law and his brother who I didn’t really get along with, but awkwardness was avoided.
The traffic and congestion on Long Island is horrific. Pretty much all stop and go from the Throgsneck Bridge all the way to Lindenhurst. Which is the border of Suffolk County. The situation is so bad it is a reason to leave Long Island.
Cal
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Calzone
Gear Whore #1
Early test results are in. Borderline anemia, but this is part of CAD since I either measure just below the normal range or in the low range. History has recorded the slightly anemic range coinciding with winter, and this condition goes away upon warm weather.
There are some ranges in the bloodwork that suggest possible liver or kidney abnormalities/disease, as well as the suggestion of Lymphoma. There is a correlation between CAD and Lymphoma which is not news to me. There is always a chance that CAD could make the jump, but generally this is only a slight chance.
Some of the tests could of been effected by dehydration, and over the past weekend In Woodstock I did limit my intake of liquids because of events and scheduling. For sure I was under hydrated.
Over the next two days I’ll get the full eval of the results to see if I have anything brewing or if there should be any real concern.
I am in a condition of watch and wait.
I was also surprised by my winter weight gain. More than usual and I never ever was this big: 163 pounds on a digital electronic scale dressed with shoes, but without wallet, watch and keys.
For me this is fat.
The tests reveal a lot of what I already know. My bone marrow is on the high range of producing young Red Blood Cells to replace the Red Blood Cells that get damaged and die. So far my bone marrow is able to offset the loss to keep me asymptomatic.
There is the Cancer scare, but that I’m not really afraid of. The jump can happen but is not mandated, in fact it is my understanding is that it is kinda rare somewhere under 5%. In my book a less than one in twenty is a long-shot.
Not sure if a mild dehydration could skew results to point to kidney and liver distress. One test suggested a very healthy number for processing proteins. Because I am so muscular I eat a lot of protein to maintain and build muscle mass. This counters the suggestion of possible kidney problems.
The tests that were out of range suggested both kidney and liver damage.
Hmmm.
“Maggie” feels the accumulated fatigue, and so do I. We are taking it easy today. Later this week we have some more events to attend to.
There is a film series being shown that is about the Peekskill Riots that happened around 1949. This involves Paul Robeson and Pete Seeger. Pretty much a brawl where right wingers beat up the leftists. The first of a series is this Saturday and the series is 5 films in length.
Peekskill also has an important role in The Underground Railroad.
I am proud to live in a historic city.
A possible event is brewing in the City of Newbourgh. This might lead up to a regular meet-up involving a brewery and a bookstore. Community building seems to be happening. Newbourgh is on the west side of the Hudson opposite Beacon. A bridge joins Beacon and Newbourgh, but Newbourgh is a big city with big problems like poverty and crime.
Seems like I’m getting snookered or sucked up into yet another ground swell. It is getting harder and harder to just mind my own business.
It is bad after a good night’s sleep that I’m yawning all day. Pretty much exhaustion.
I realize how the M-Monochrom although has only 18 MP has a resolution of about 36 MP because of the lack of a Bayer Filter Array. Then I have the SL2 at almost 48 MP, and this kinda gets enhanced by the Leica L-glass I own. The 50 Lux is a wow, and the 35 Cron APO is a double wow.
Like in the song “Cinnamon Girl” I can be happy the rest of my life with the MM and SL2. Also kinda proud that I was in the focus group that helped design the SL2, but it was brutal waiting for production for a few years.
The thing with these lenses is the UBER smooth transition between sharpness and OOF. The 50 Lux wide open had mucho wonderful bokeh.
I am proud to report that my editor at the Peekskill Herald used the more street shot of John exposing the T-shirt with the “Captain Law” logo.
My Editor, Regina, is mighty hip. Formally she was a big time magazine editor.
I am a tired old man, but today I drew a look and a smile from a young woman who initiated a flirting behind Maggie’s back. Way more than a generation separated us in age. Truth be told is I was old enough to be her father. “Don’t tell Maggie.”
Yesterday many people at the memorial made the comment that I have not change much and look the same. Pretty much like “The Portrait Of Dorian Grey.” Some people I have not seen in a decade, some not in 20 years.
I kept being asked my age and 66 was kinda unbelievable. Meanwhile I saw my friends changing so much I did not recognize them. Pretty Boy Danny was one of them. He is no longer a dirty dog. Little Joey reported that now he is married with two kids.
BTW my friends span generations.
I wonder as I age and my friends change and die off if I will be like Dorian Grey. It already seems to be happening.
Cal
There are some ranges in the bloodwork that suggest possible liver or kidney abnormalities/disease, as well as the suggestion of Lymphoma. There is a correlation between CAD and Lymphoma which is not news to me. There is always a chance that CAD could make the jump, but generally this is only a slight chance.
Some of the tests could of been effected by dehydration, and over the past weekend In Woodstock I did limit my intake of liquids because of events and scheduling. For sure I was under hydrated.
Over the next two days I’ll get the full eval of the results to see if I have anything brewing or if there should be any real concern.
I am in a condition of watch and wait.
I was also surprised by my winter weight gain. More than usual and I never ever was this big: 163 pounds on a digital electronic scale dressed with shoes, but without wallet, watch and keys.
For me this is fat.
The tests reveal a lot of what I already know. My bone marrow is on the high range of producing young Red Blood Cells to replace the Red Blood Cells that get damaged and die. So far my bone marrow is able to offset the loss to keep me asymptomatic.
There is the Cancer scare, but that I’m not really afraid of. The jump can happen but is not mandated, in fact it is my understanding is that it is kinda rare somewhere under 5%. In my book a less than one in twenty is a long-shot.
Not sure if a mild dehydration could skew results to point to kidney and liver distress. One test suggested a very healthy number for processing proteins. Because I am so muscular I eat a lot of protein to maintain and build muscle mass. This counters the suggestion of possible kidney problems.
The tests that were out of range suggested both kidney and liver damage.
Hmmm.
“Maggie” feels the accumulated fatigue, and so do I. We are taking it easy today. Later this week we have some more events to attend to.
There is a film series being shown that is about the Peekskill Riots that happened around 1949. This involves Paul Robeson and Pete Seeger. Pretty much a brawl where right wingers beat up the leftists. The first of a series is this Saturday and the series is 5 films in length.
Peekskill also has an important role in The Underground Railroad.
I am proud to live in a historic city.
A possible event is brewing in the City of Newbourgh. This might lead up to a regular meet-up involving a brewery and a bookstore. Community building seems to be happening. Newbourgh is on the west side of the Hudson opposite Beacon. A bridge joins Beacon and Newbourgh, but Newbourgh is a big city with big problems like poverty and crime.
Seems like I’m getting snookered or sucked up into yet another ground swell. It is getting harder and harder to just mind my own business.
It is bad after a good night’s sleep that I’m yawning all day. Pretty much exhaustion.
I realize how the M-Monochrom although has only 18 MP has a resolution of about 36 MP because of the lack of a Bayer Filter Array. Then I have the SL2 at almost 48 MP, and this kinda gets enhanced by the Leica L-glass I own. The 50 Lux is a wow, and the 35 Cron APO is a double wow.
Like in the song “Cinnamon Girl” I can be happy the rest of my life with the MM and SL2. Also kinda proud that I was in the focus group that helped design the SL2, but it was brutal waiting for production for a few years.
The thing with these lenses is the UBER smooth transition between sharpness and OOF. The 50 Lux wide open had mucho wonderful bokeh.
I am proud to report that my editor at the Peekskill Herald used the more street shot of John exposing the T-shirt with the “Captain Law” logo.
My Editor, Regina, is mighty hip. Formally she was a big time magazine editor.
I am a tired old man, but today I drew a look and a smile from a young woman who initiated a flirting behind Maggie’s back. Way more than a generation separated us in age. Truth be told is I was old enough to be her father. “Don’t tell Maggie.”
Yesterday many people at the memorial made the comment that I have not change much and look the same. Pretty much like “The Portrait Of Dorian Grey.” Some people I have not seen in a decade, some not in 20 years.
I kept being asked my age and 66 was kinda unbelievable. Meanwhile I saw my friends changing so much I did not recognize them. Pretty Boy Danny was one of them. He is no longer a dirty dog. Little Joey reported that now he is married with two kids.
BTW my friends span generations.
I wonder as I age and my friends change and die off if I will be like Dorian Grey. It already seems to be happening.
Cal
Last edited:
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
From the above writing it is evident I have a lot of ideas to convey and that my mind spreads all over the place.
Some of my writing is more focused, to the point, and more coherent. The above is all over the place.
Because I have such varied interests and a broad background a magazine is a kinda cool endeavor, and it could be a bit of a showcase for my photography.
Cal
Some of my writing is more focused, to the point, and more coherent. The above is all over the place.
Because I have such varied interests and a broad background a magazine is a kinda cool endeavor, and it could be a bit of a showcase for my photography.
Cal
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
My hematologist called to give me a clean bill of health. Evidently he explained that the levels revealed the Red Blood Cell destruction and these elevated levels are the result of the Red Blood Cell death that is going on and not some form of kidney or liver malfunction or damage.
He also said it is remarkable how I have been stable all these years (17).
He also said that my Red Blood Cell count while in the lower range, that really I’m not anemic.
I’m still in the Blue Zone.
Cal
He also said it is remarkable how I have been stable all these years (17).
He also said that my Red Blood Cell count while in the lower range, that really I’m not anemic.
I’m still in the Blue Zone.
Cal
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
They say that the cost of food has increased 25% over the past 4 years. That is a problem for most Americans.
Global warming is a game changer compounded by water shortages and droughts. Pretty much this trend I expect to continue.
Here in the Hudson Valley we have a good water supply. Down south in the Carolinas the water is tainted with chemicals and should not be ingested, bottled water should be consumed.
Rain here now is less regular, and now tends to be sporadic, but when it rains it pours causing flooding and erosion. I think at some point I will be compelled to grow food to control costs. Certainly food prices will continue to rise, and pretty much this is only the beginning.
Then there are the health consequences from poor diet that will impact many and shorten lifespans further. This is another trend that worries me. The lack of medical care and screening during the pandemic I believe will continue to cause mortality to rise further and further dampen life expectancy, sadly by lack of preventative medicine during those three years.
You might not have died from Covid, but other diseases had the opportunity to get ahead and establish themselves. Mental health also has diminished and we live in a world where suicide, depression, and anxiety reigns.
Good diet and good health are highly correlated.
I’m glad I have enough property to sustain myself. My two rear lawns enjoy a southern exposure.
Cal
Global warming is a game changer compounded by water shortages and droughts. Pretty much this trend I expect to continue.
Here in the Hudson Valley we have a good water supply. Down south in the Carolinas the water is tainted with chemicals and should not be ingested, bottled water should be consumed.
Rain here now is less regular, and now tends to be sporadic, but when it rains it pours causing flooding and erosion. I think at some point I will be compelled to grow food to control costs. Certainly food prices will continue to rise, and pretty much this is only the beginning.
Then there are the health consequences from poor diet that will impact many and shorten lifespans further. This is another trend that worries me. The lack of medical care and screening during the pandemic I believe will continue to cause mortality to rise further and further dampen life expectancy, sadly by lack of preventative medicine during those three years.
You might not have died from Covid, but other diseases had the opportunity to get ahead and establish themselves. Mental health also has diminished and we live in a world where suicide, depression, and anxiety reigns.
Good diet and good health are highly correlated.
I’m glad I have enough property to sustain myself. My two rear lawns enjoy a southern exposure.
Cal
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
I watched the film American Fiction last night.
It is a story that involves the gate keeping and marginalizing of a black writer who is a literary writer and college professor.
To me it was a similar story to “Breaking Bad” where circumstances corrupt a person’s identity and ethics and morality are destroyed for necessary monetary gain.
Same story, but different.
Anyways I enjoyed and laughed hard when the dominant white culture was made fun of.
Cal
It is a story that involves the gate keeping and marginalizing of a black writer who is a literary writer and college professor.
To me it was a similar story to “Breaking Bad” where circumstances corrupt a person’s identity and ethics and morality are destroyed for necessary monetary gain.
Same story, but different.
Anyways I enjoyed and laughed hard when the dominant white culture was made fun of.
Cal
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
Gold opened above $2.2K this morning. No higher-high yet.
Pretty much this price suggests that inflation is alive and well.
I can see gold establishing a base above $2.2K and then breaching $2.3K relatively soon. I expect a “breakout” where gold will breach $3K. A very long handle (sideways action/movement) has occurred for a very long time.
I get the message that inflation is real and will likely be around for a while.
I also see slim pickings in real estate. Everything is expensive and there are no bargains. Perhaps the only deals in town are homes that require gut renovations.
Cal
Pretty much this price suggests that inflation is alive and well.
I can see gold establishing a base above $2.2K and then breaching $2.3K relatively soon. I expect a “breakout” where gold will breach $3K. A very long handle (sideways action/movement) has occurred for a very long time.
I get the message that inflation is real and will likely be around for a while.
I also see slim pickings in real estate. Everything is expensive and there are no bargains. Perhaps the only deals in town are homes that require gut renovations.
Cal
Austintatious
Well-known
Calzone
Gear Whore #1
Austin,
How true.
Cal
How true.
Cal