Operatic about Leica
Old 06-12-2006   #1
Peter Klein
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Operatic about Leica

. . . or, I should say, OperETTic.

Short humor break, folks. About a year ago, I wrote a parody song about Leicas. I posted it on the LUG. The next thing you know, it's October, I'm in San Francisco, and I'm standing up in front of a couple hundred people singing the thing at the annual Leica Historical Society of America banquet, which I still can't believe I did.

Without further ado. . .

"I Am A Total Devotee of Leica M Photography"
Copyright (c) 2004, 2005 Peter A. Klein
Sung to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"
Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan

- - - - -
Scene: A photographic gathering in a posh metropolitan hotel. The
Master Amateur is holding forth on the glories of Leica. He is dressed
in a battered old raincoat and a French beret. In his hand is a
battered M3 covered with black tape. He is surrounded by a chorus of
paunchy middle-aged men, each wearing an enormous autofocus SLR with
zoom lens. The lenses bounce on their bellies when they sing.
- - - - -

(MASTER AMATEUR)
I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.
I will not buy a digicam, I won't do videography.
I read the work of Lager with his product list canonical.
I'll never use a plastic lens with focus ultrasonical.

I look at other cameras with an attitude that's whimsical.
I do not want an SLR with viewing pentaprimsical.
The look of glass from Asia makes me squint my eyes and squirm a knee.
I'd rather get my lenses from a little town in Germany.

(CHORUS)
He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.
He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.
He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germa-Germa-ny.

(MASTER AMATEUR)
I will never put my camera on a tripod that is teetering.
I cannot understand the need for modern matrix metering.
Look back upon my history, it's all in my biography:
I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

(CHORUS)
Look back upon his history, it's all in his biography:
He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.


(MASTER AMATEUR)
I love my Leica cameras with passion that's tyrannical
A rangefinder, a floating frame, and everything mechanical.
The shutter curtain's rubberized, and fashioned from the finest silk.
The lenses have a bokeh that is smooth as summer buttermilk.

My fifty f-two Summicron takes landscapes that are lyrical.
I pierce the gloomy shadows with my Summilux aspherical.
I must have Leica quality although it costs a lot o' bucks.
I bought a ninety A-P-O, I'm saving for a Noctilux.

(CHORUS)
He bought a ninety A-P-O, he's saving for a Noctilux.
He bought a ninety A-P-O, he's saving for a Noctilux.
He bought a ninety A-P-O, he's saving for a Nocti-Nocti-lux.

I develop all my Tri-X film in acid that's ascorbical.
I try to make my photos have a reference metaphorbical.
And so throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:
I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

(CHORUS)
And so throughout his history, we find in his biography:
He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.


(MASTER AMATEUR)
I want to be like Eisenstadt and Smith and Frank and HCB.
I take my Christmas photos in a style that's documentary.
I never shoot at weathered rocks and twisted trees and gnats and logs.
There's universal pathos in my pictures of my cats and dogs.

I lurk in bars and coffeshops, and stalk the streets with Delphic glee.
To shoot unwary passers-by with Leica mounted pelvically.
And when I spy a plant that has a lovely flower's bloom upon.
I take a dazzling close-up with my dual-ranging Summicron.

(CHORUS)
He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.
He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.
He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summi-Summi-cron.

(MASTER AMATEUR)
And although I've tried the other brands they always feel inferior.
They can't resolve the fuzz upon a baby's bare posterior.
That's why throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:
I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

(CHORUS)
That's why throughout his history, we'll find in his biography:
He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.

------------
--Peter
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Old 06-12-2006   #2
ChrisN
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WoW!!! Don't stop!
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Old 06-13-2006   #3
richard_l
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Wonderful! I'd say you're the Tom Lehrer of photography.
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Old 06-13-2006   #4
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Old 06-13-2006   #5
jaapv
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Great! Now figure out a way to put the music in your post
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Old 06-13-2006   #6
richard_l
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For those who don't know the tune, here's a MIDI file. Just click on the MIDI button.
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Old 06-13-2006   #7
thafred
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Cheers Peter! Fantastic ....I nearly riuned my pants while laughing!!!
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Old 06-13-2006   #8
rover
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Now you have to record this and post it on the web for all to enjoy.

Did the LHSA pay for your trip to San Francisco?
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Old 06-13-2006   #9
scottgee1
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Very clever!

And you might want to change your avatar, comrade!

/ScottGee1
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Old 06-13-2006   #10
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Peter -- absolutely perfect parody of G&S.
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Old 06-13-2006   #11
JOE1951
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That's funny, very Gilbert and Sullivan!!

Although my preference is more Wagnarian...Kiwl the wabbit, Kiwl The Wabbit, KIWL THE WABBIT!
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Old 06-13-2006   #12
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Old 06-13-2006   #13
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Great stuff! Captures a lot of the strange and wonderful idiosycracies of us rangefinder folks! Congratulations!
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Old 06-13-2006   #14
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I just spit tea all over my keyboard!
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Old 06-13-2006   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by richard_l
Wonderful! I'd say you're the Tom Lehrer of photography.
Here's a link to "The Elements"

http://chemlab.pc.maricopa.edu/PERIODIC/lyrics.html
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Old 06-13-2006   #16
Peter Klein
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Wow, thanks everyone!

Richard_l, thanks for posting the midi link. Now everyone can sing along!

Rover, I am a member of LHSA, and I got to SF under my own funding.

ScottGee1: Ah, you noticed that Zorki 4 in my avatar. Yeah, I mostly shoot with Leicas, but every so often, it's fun to drive a tractor. It just turns out that my best mirror self-portrait was taken with the Zorki. I've threatened to show up at an LHSA event with the Zorki just to tweak people, but I haven't yet.

Joe1951: Be vewwy quiet. I'm hunting Weicas. (Actually, one of the guys who sang the chorus part with me in San Francisco had a German accent, so we had a little bit of Wagner in our G&S).

Magus: I had never heard that old Leica song before. Thanks!

--Peter
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Old 06-13-2006   #17
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Oh my god...
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Old 06-13-2006   #18
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That is utter genius....brilliant.

(I love the rhyming of lot o' bucks with noctilux )
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Old 06-13-2006   #19
Peter Klein
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hoot
Peter, have you seen my ditty? It was partly inspired by yours. Click

Hoot: I missed that the first time around, and it is, well, a hoot! Good show!

--Peter
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Old 06-14-2006   #20
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That has got to be the most ingenious parody I have heard....ever! Now I have to figure out how to save and burn it for my friends!
Jorge, please make this a sticky!
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