Critique #24 Theme: *Self-Portrait*—5 Participants

[RayPA]

Welcome to this critique thread. Please read the purpose statement and the guidelines/ground rules regarding participation.

Purpose
The primary purpose of this thread is to provide a forum where photographers can give and receive constructive criticism on one another's photographs. By setting up some basic guidelines we hope that this thread will provide a forum where the give and take of honest constructive criticism can help us become better photographers.

Guidelines/Ground Rules
The thread has very specific rules regarding participation. The one basic rule is that you cannot provide criticism on an image or comment in a critique thread unless you also have an image posted. To post an image to this thread you must be a participant. Participation in this thread is limited. Here are the guidelines and ground rules for participation:

• Participation in this thread is limited to 5 photographers
• Participants join the thread by posting their intention. You can simply reply with your intent to join by posting something like: "I'm joining," "I'm in," or just state your name
• Joining is on a "first come, first served" basis. The first 5 to reply become the participants
• Once the thread has 5 participants, no other photographers can join or participate in the thread
• Once the thread is full of participants all photographers will upload their image(s)
• Please abide by any thematic requirement (e.g., landscape, portrait, etc.)
•The number of photos for each participant is limited to one
• Photographers attach photos as thumbnails (no inline images or links)
• Photographers post their images supplying titles (if any) and other pertinent information (the amount of information should be minimal)
• Photographers can only comment on their own images and reply to comments only when everyone else in the thread has posted their comments on the image
• Every participant must comment on every photo (except their own—initially)
• Every participant must make at least two comments, one positive comment, and one constructive criticism (which is actually two positive comments)
• Once every photographer has commented then a free flowing discussion begins. It is at this point that every photographer can comment on their own work and reply to comments, ask questions, etc.
• The participants decide when the thread closes.


If you'd like to participate in a critique thread and need some ideas about how to proceed with viewing images critically, you may find this thread helpful:

How do you look at photos

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Critique Feedback Thread

Remember: Please do not provide criticism on an image or comment in a critique thread unless you also have an image posted.

This thread is now active, please follow the guidelines if you'd like to participate! Have Fun!



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[RayPA]

Could be a difficult one. Who's game?

[sleepyhead]

I'd like to join!
Yaron

[nico]

I'd like too!
Bye
Nico

[sleepyhead]

bumpty bump - any more takers?

I joined this one not because I'm such a big self-portrait person, but because it's the first one of these Critique threads that I've managed to join before it filled up

Looking forwards to some good and constructive discussion!

[Pherdinand]

I'd love to show off w my face, but i am out tomorrow, so i probably would hold up the other four.

[sleepyhead]

There's no rush as far as I'm concerned... I would value your participation.

[nico]

Originally Posted by sleepyhead

There's no rush as far as I'm concerned... I would value your participation.

Pherdinand
I agree with Yaron, I can wait you as long as you need.
Bye
Nico

[Pherdinand]

OK guys, then I guess I'm in!

[Todd.Hanz]

I'll give this a go too! I need to shoot a new one today!

Todd

[Wayne R. Scott]

I'll go if I am number 5 instead of 6.

Wayne

[Pherdinand]

well i guess ray's not participating so you are no 5, wayne!!

[sleepyhead]

That makes 5!

Attached is my contribution. We must remember to give Pherdinand a day or two to upload his. Regards, Yaron

[Pherdinand]

Here's my image then. Bad news would be an attempt to a title.
Contax iiia+sonnar 50/1.5, ilford delta3200

[Pherdinand]

No,no. The COMMENTS might come later. The image is ready, and I am still here today for a while.

[Wayne R. Scott]

Here is mine shot with a Canon Ql-17 GIII:


Wayne

[Todd.Hanz]

"shattered"

Todd

[sleepyhead]

Hi Nico, we're waiting for your self-portrait - then the comment-flow can start.
Yaron

[nico]

Originally Posted by sleepyhead

Hi Nico, we're waiting for your self-portrait - then the comment-flow can start.
Yaron

Oops,
sorry for the delay , I'm waiting for a couple of developed rolls where I have a couple of new selfportrait so I'd be able to post within a few hours. Otherwise I'll post an old one.
Thanks for your patience!!
Bye
Nico

[Pherdinand]

Take your time. Good work needs time.

[nico]

Thanks Pherdinand!
Nico

[nico]

Ehm, no rolls developed yet, so ...

[Wayne R. Scott]

Yaron- I like the steam coated mirror giving a soft focus effect to most of the photo with top portion clear and sharp drawing attention to your face. Yeah, let's hear it for TLR's!!!!!

Pherdinand- I like the mystery element here. I ask myself, "Is this letter a rejection slip from a publisher, or maybe an unexpected large unpaid bill, or perhaps the pregnancy results from a casual acquaintance?"

I love the fact that you used a self-timer instead of a mirror for this shot!!

nico- This photo has very high contrast, almost a "lith" look to it. There is direct eye contact with your one eye concentrating on your subject (you). It almost looks like it could be a poster for a movie about rangefinder photography.

Todd- Love it!! A "not-your-normal" mirror portrait. I love the different planes showing different views, almost a Picasso type portrait. I may try a varation on this one myself.

Wayne

[nico]

Yaron:
I like the "oof" effect of a part of the mirror, great use of the steam! This nice trick brings the attention on your face.
There's also a funny detail: your trousers are open!
The only suggestion I may have is to try another version with your face in the steam coated part of the mirror, it should add a bit of mistery to the shot.
I like it, good original job for a classic.

Pherdinand:
I like the light and the exposure, good fucus too (I always make a mess when I use the self timer to shoot on me); the hand over the face makes the shot adding drama to the portrait, I like it a lot.
The only thing I'd may change is not to handle or show the letter in the photo.

Todd:
this mirror portrait revisited is great, a lot of details are shown in the different pieces without showing the whole subject. Then you also put your feet in the shot, so we can see, at the same moment, you and your reflection.
I agree about the Picasso type portrait.
It's difficult to suggest something about this shot, it's very interesting and well executed.

Wayne:
I like it. It's a challenging portrait for me! I can't understand how you took this one, more I look less I understand! How many cameras are involved in the shot? 3, I guess (the one in your hand, the one you're "in", the one that shoots), for one photo! Drives me crazy!!!
What to suggest? maybe to involve another camera (very difficult!) or to try another version with the focus on you.


Bye
Nico

[sleepyhead]

Comments from sleephead:


PHOTO BY PHERDINAND

The picture gives the immediate impression that this is no ordinary self-portrait. The grain and overall dark shades work very well with the tone of the photo. There is a story here, which is good, but the story is a mystery, which, in my opinion may also be good, if that's what the photographer intended. I like the tight composition, it makes you feel close to the subject, who is perhaps in a state of despair over what he has just read.

My only suggestion for improvement of this photo would be to tweak the composition slightly, so as not to distract from the subject: level out the slight tilt to the left (noticible at edge of coffee table), and consider Photoshopping out the wall plug at the corner of the sofa. If I was in Photoshop already, then i would also burn in all the white parts (text and pattern) of the sweater - removing them really make a big improvement in my opinion.



PHOTO BY WAYNE R. SCOTT

The picture tells a clear story: "I'm a photographer". This is an original and multi-dimensional self-portrait in several senses. First, it has the obvious frame-within-a-frame dimension, and second the photographer has used, in a way, three different cameras to make the self-portrait. The photo is certainly out of the ordinary, and holds one's attention as the eye goes around a explores the details. Technically, the photo is sharp and the exposure is good.

In terms of constructive criticism, I think that some of the strengths of this picture are also some of it's weaknesses:

The telling of the "I'm a photographer" story is a little heavy-handed in my opinion, the main culprit being the medium format SLR in your hand. It, combined with your facial expression and the way the camera is held (knuckles), give an aggressive impression.

I also am not crazy about the composition - I find the hand strap touching the frame edge on the left distracting, and the slight tilt of the view camera to the left annoys me. The bubble-level and viewfinder at the top I can live with, but the tripod below is distracting.

Also, have you considered rotating the picture 180 degrees? That would work well with my suggestions below.

If you were to re-shoot this picture, then this is what I would suggest:
Hold something else, maybe the Canon Q-17, or better yet held something "softer" like an example photograph in your hands, with your hands in a relaxed position, and perhaps use the medium format SLR to take the picture. I would also consider moving in closer to get only the back of the view camera as the outer frame, thereby, removing the strap, tripod, bubble-level, etc.

See attached cropped and rotated photo. Tilt not fixed.



PHOTO BY NICO

Nico, I like the high-contrast self portrait very much - it has a great graphic quality to it. You seem to have a bit of a smirk on your face, and your visible eye is very intense-looking. I can't think of any way to improve on this photo, except maybe if those window frame lines weren't in the top right corner.



PHOTO BY TODD HANZ

A very interesting and "jarring" self-portrait! I especially like the toes at the bottom. The two little black dots on the lighting umbrella (or whatever that is) disturb me a little. It's technically very good with nice tones and contrast.