View Full Version : OT but good information
I apologize in advance if this isn't appropriate. But it is pretty funny:)
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic Bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
!
(Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
jan normandale
07-28-2005, 10:35
Kiev4A
maybe OT, but still funny.
thanks, Jan
Some women think all men are pigs... after reading this, I think some of us wouldn't mind it at all :)
Little Prince
07-28-2005, 11:14
Funny. Two points of clarification:
The first, regarding strongest muscle. I vaguely recollected reading that the lower jaw muscle was the strongest. So I looked it up (can't believe I'm doing this). A wikipedia link for your further enlightenment:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscles
Scroll down to 'the strongest human muscle'.
Second, (and this should be of interest to photogs) what the heck is a *black* light?
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
Huh?????
Turtles?
Tree slugs?
SolaresLarrave
07-28-2005, 11:44
Turtles can be pretty fast too... but jump?
Thanks a lot! I did laugh, mostly at the parenthetical comments! :)
A tree slug can fall off its tree. Though not technically a jump, it is a whole lot more air than an elephant can catch.
Huh?????
Turtles?
Tree slugs?
Land based mammals perhaps?
As for elephants catching some air... Dumbo?!? :D
"Black Light" is usually a UV lamp. Causes certain things to glow.
paraphrasing a well known quote...
If I would know how to be a pig, I'd do it all the times !!! :D
thanks for the funny moment!!
IIRC bonobos also have sex for fun.
Pherdinand
07-29-2005, 12:02
Yes but nobody knows what a bonobo is, Remy.
OK...i don't. :D
They are kinda like a chimpanzees (a bit smaller, IIRC) - and notorious for their sex life (which is not only used for fun, but also for keeping their societies ordered & unified).
Hey, nature documentaries are my favorite programs on TV (particularly those from the BBC)...
BTW, there are plenty of other animals who have sex solely for fun - we don't even have to look for the exotic - think about dogs.
Roman
Pherdinand
07-30-2005, 03:46
Hm, how do we really know if an animal has sex only for the fun?
A good indication I could imagine would be, if the respective dog, bonobo, ... would use a preservative (from its own initiative).
Pherdinand
07-30-2005, 03:48
They are kinda like a chimpanzees (a bit smaller, IIRC)
Thanks Roman :)
Well, there are numerous species with homosexual individuals (dogs are one of those; anybody remeber that story about the gay penguins in a German zoo?), where sex clearly is not inteded for reproduction - so they are having it for fun!
Roman
Second, (and this should be of interest to photogs) what the heck is a *black* light?
It's sometimes used as slang for an ultraviolet light, and also sometimes used as slang for a darkbulb, an electronic device used for absorbing unwanted light rays such as light leaks in darkrooms.
More information about the darkbulb is available here. (http://express.colorcom.com/bulletinboard/postings/1104070934.205.188.117.11.html) See also this more extensive listing (http://www.keelynet.com/humor/darkbulb.txt) citing the original source, the referreed scientific periodical The Journal of Irreproducible Results.
And reemember, the Internet was created by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration, an agency of the U.S. Government, so everything you read on it is guaranteed by law to be 100% true.
Pherdinand
07-30-2005, 08:05
Darkbulb, absorbing unwanted light rays, LOL! Thanks for the chuckle, jlw:D
Anybody else remember the "Darksucker Theory"?
CleverName
07-30-2005, 11:40
As for elephants catching some air... Dumbo?!? :D
Ever wonder why Disney doesn't promote Dumbo more? I think the underlying story that if you get really drunk, you may discover that you can fly, might have something to do with it.
Anybody else remember the "Darksucker Theory"?
No, but I remember a very funny Jimmy Stewart film quote about an old fashioned light bulb. Something like this:
"You don't call that a light, you call it a dark. Turn it on in broad daylight and it becomes pitch black."
Of course it's funny when he says it. :) :)
Little Prince
07-30-2005, 18:17
That darkbulb link was really funny... *chuckle*.
Google will bring out more than I can remember, but the basic jist of it is that "light bulbs" are really "dark suckers". They work by sucking darkness. They fill up eventually, resulting in a little spot where all the darkness collected over the life of the bulb can be seen.
I found this one at the link below - I've been able to find no attribution for it, though the text appears nearly verbatim at several places on the net.
http://webpages.marshall.edu/~hartwel1/humor/misc/darksucker_theory.html
DarkSucker Theory
For years the electrical utility companies have led the public to believe they were in business to supply electricity to the consumer, a service for which they charge a substantial rate. The recent accidental acquisition of secret records from a well known power company has led to a massive research campaign which positively explodes several myths and exposes the massive hoax which has been perpetrated upon the public by the power companies.
The most common hoax promoted the false concept that light bulbs emitted light; in actuality, these 'light' bulbs actually absorb DARK which is then transported back to the power generation stations via wire networks. A more descriptive name has now been coined; the new scientific name for the device is DARKSUCKER.
This newsletter introduces a brief synopsis of the darksucker theory, which proves the existence of dark and establishes the fact that dark has great mass, and further, that dark particle (the anti-photon) is the fastest known particle in the universe. Apparently, even the celebrated Dr. Albert Einstein did not suspect the truth.. that just as COLD is the absence of HEAT, LIGHT is actually the ABSENCE of DARK... scientists have now proven that light does not really exist!
The basis of the darksucker theory is that electric light bulbs suck dark. Take for example, the darksuckers in the room where you are right now. There is much less dark right next to the darksuckers than there is elsewhere, demonstrating their limited range. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Darksuckers in a parking lot or on a football field have a much greater capacity than the ones in used in the home, for example.
It may come as a surprise to learn that darksuckers also operate on a celestial scale; witness the Sun. Our Sun makes use of dense dark, sucking it in from all the planets and intervening dark space. Naturally, the Sun is better able to suck dark from the planets which are situated closer to it, thus explaining why those planets appear brighter than do those which are far distant from the Sun.
Occasionally, the Sun actually oversucks; under those conditions, dark spots appear on the surface of the Sun. Scientists have long studied these 'sunspots' and are only recently beginning to realize that the dark spots represent leaks of high pressure dark because the Sun has oversucked dark to such an extent that some dark actually leaks back into space. This leakage of high pressure dark frequently causes problems with radio communications here on Earth due to collisions between the dark particles as they stream out into space at high velocity via the black 'holes' in the surface of the Sun.
As with all manmade devices, darksuckers have a finite lifetime caused by the fact that they are not 100% efficient at transmitting collected dark back to the power company via the wires from your home, causing dark to build up slowly within the device. Once they are full of accumulated dark, they can no longer suck. This condition can be observed by looking for the black spot on a full darksucker when it has reached maximum capacity of untransmitted dark... you have surely noticed that dark completely surrounds a full darksucker because it no longer has the capacity to suck any dark at all.
A candle is a primitive darksucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the first use the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. It is of no use to plug a candle into an electrical outlet; it can only collect dark.. it has no transmission capabilities. Unfortunately, these primitive darksuckers have a very limited range and are hazardous to operate because of the intense heat produced.
There are also portable darksuckers called flashlights. The bulbs in these devices collect dark which is passed to a dark storage unit called a battery. When the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied (a process called 'recharging') or replaced before the portable darksucker can continue to operate. If you break open a battery, you will find dense black dark inside, evidence that it is actually a compact dark storage unit.
Pherdinand
07-31-2005, 02:32
hehe, my colleagues will love this, i have to share it tomorrow. Thanks!
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