Critique #47 *Open Theme* 5 Participants

[RayPA]

Welcome to this critique thread. Please read the purpose statement and the guidelines/ground rules regarding participation.

Purpose
The primary purpose of this thread is to provide a forum where photographers can give and receive constructive criticism on one another's photographs. By setting up some basic guidelines we hope that this thread will provide a forum where the give and take of honest constructive criticism can help us become better photographers.

Guidelines/Ground Rules
The thread has very specific rules regarding participation. The one basic rule is that you cannot provide criticism on an image or comment in a critique thread unless you also have an image posted. To post an image to this thread you must be a participant. Participation in this thread is limited. Here are the guidelines and ground rules for participation:

• Participation in this thread is limited to 5 photographers
• Participants join the thread by posting their intention. You can simply reply with your intent to join by posting something like: "I'm joining," "I'm in," or just state your name
• Joining is on a "first come, first served" basis. The first 5 to reply become the participants.
• Please, only join this thread if you are able post an image within 24 hours of joining.
• Once the thread has 5 participants, no other photographers can join or participate in the thread
• Once the thread is full of participants all photographers will upload their image(s)
• Please abide by any thematic requirement (e.g., landscape, portrait, etc.)
•The number of photos for each participant is limited to one
• Photographers attach photos as thumbnails (no inline images or links)
• Photos should be standard screen resolution (72~90) and the longest side of the image approximately 10 inches in length.
• Photographers post their images supplying titles (if any) and other pertinent information (the amount of information should be minimal)
• Photographers can only comment on their own images and reply to comments only when everyone else in the thread has posted their comments on the image
• Every participant must comment on every photo (except their own—initially)
• Every participant must make at least two comments, one positive comment, and one constructive criticism (which is actually two positive comments)
• Once every photographer has commented then a free flowing discussion begins. It is at this point that every photographer can comment on their own work and reply to comments, ask questions, etc.
• The participants decide when the thread closes.


If you'd like to participate in a critique thread and need some ideas about how to proceed with viewing images critically, you may find this thread helpful:

How do you look at photos (http://www.rangefinderforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26459)

You can also provide feedback on critique threads here:

Critique Feedback Thread (http://www.rangefinderforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26611)

Remember: Please do not provide criticism on an image or comment in a critique thread unless you also have an image posted.

This thread is now active, please follow the guidelines if you'd like to participate! Have Fun!



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[raid]

I take part in too many critique sessions; come on people. Join in.

Raid

[AusDLK]

Raid -- I'm surprised that these critique threads are so slow... I'll join in again.

[Gabriel M.A.]

I'll join. New blood this time?

[AusDLK]

New blood is welcome. I'll bow out if more people want to sign up since I have been in two of these things recently.

[flashover]

ok I will try this one.

[shiro_kuro]

I'll give it a try ....

[raid]

Do you want to start posting images, if we have a full group signed up?

[AusDLK]

Here's mine.

Xpan II, 45mm, Kodak HIE, 89B filter. Scan of silver print.

[flashover]

here is my shot.

[shiro_kuro]

Here is mine :)

[raid]

Here is my image.


Location: Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee, USA.

[Gabriel M.A.]

Leica M6 + 35mm Ultron f/1.7 / Fuji X-tra 400

[raid]

Here's mine.

Xpan II, 45mm, Kodak HIE, 89B filter. Scan of silver print.


Dave: The image is interesting. The three chimneys stick out in the dark sky. Still, the photo looks chopped off from the bottom. Maybe you could have taken the image vertically, with the three chimneys being the main objects.


Raid

[raid]

Here is mine :)

shiro_kuro: The interaction between the people shows. This is a very good image. Note that if you had slightly included more from the right and less from the left, this image would be stronger.

Gabriel doesn't like suggestions for photos, but I feel this is important.


Raid

[raid]

here is my shot.


John: You caught the moment. I like the image. The background is a little distracting though. If you could have [and that's easier said than done] made the jumping person more the focus point, the image would be stronger.
This is just my opinion.


Raid

[raid]

Leica M6 + 35mm Ultron f/1.7 / Fuji X-tra 400


Gabriel: The image is good. Is this the Rhein river? The lawn in the front is a little too large for the image. What I mean is that the focus point is the river and the people, and the green is too overwhelming for me. I hope that I did not catch you on a bad day!

Raid

[shiro_kuro]

Here's mine.

Xpan II, 45mm, Kodak HIE, 89B filter. Scan of silver print.
I like the surreal look to this image .. it really captures my imagination . It looks to be a still from a movie yet tell a story on its own . I also really enjoy the fact that it was taken with an xpan. The composition is strong but I feel the there is to much space on the left and think that the image might be stronger if the first stack started out closer to that edge of the image ....
regards Charley

[shiro_kuro]

here is my shot.
Nice capture ... I like that you caught her making the jump but I think it would make a much better photo if you also captured all her reflection . I don't really like the background . I f you got a bit lower you would of captured the reflection and the person in the background watching and avoiding the building ,cars ect. which I feel are distracting. This shot would also be interesting with less dof or more but the slight blur takes away from this image ..I think this shot is well seen and has alot of possibilities .

Regards, Charley

[shiro_kuro]

Here is my image.


Location: Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee, USA.
I really like the colors and the boke ... the fact that it is a reminder that summer is gone makes this image interesting to me because it brings up feelings of time passing . I like the fact that this is not a cliche fall shot ........ It is hard to critique this type of shot .... or any photograph lol.... it wil be interesting to see what the others have to say ..........
Regards , Charley

[shiro_kuro]

Leica M6 + 35mm Ultron f/1.7 / Fuji X-tra 400
I think the colors are wonderful . At first I felt the lamp was to centered ..it was the first thing my eyes went to ...Then I saw the man who seems to fixate on the light and ignores the beautiful view ... so I start to see this subtle humor and I like it .... and the more I look the more I like it ........... Now I have to wonder if this was your intentention :) .....if it was not ...light is to centered and I do not like the way everything is bunched up in the right corner .....lol
Regards , Charley

[raid]

Charley: I agree with you that the pastel colors are wonderful in Gabriel's photo.

Raid

[Gabriel M.A.]

Here's mine.

Xpan II, 45mm, Kodak HIE, 89B filter. Scan of silver print.
My first impression was that this photo had been severely cropped, until I read again that this was taken with an XPan camera.

The zeppelin and the smoke stacks make for interesting elements. The trees make this too busy, yet add an eerie feeling to it.

[Gabriel M.A.]

here is my shot.
This is a great shot. Although this could use some cropping so that the cars at the top of the frame are removed, and you'd have an even greater image. Nice timing.

[Gabriel M.A.]

Here is my image.


Location: Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee, USA.
The colors are very pleasing, and so is the light. The square cropping, to my eye, demands a better composition, although the subject matter here is not very helpful. If you play around with the original negative (if I assume this came from a 3:4 ratio rather than a 1:1 negative)

Edit: my paragraph got cut off! OK, I don't remember the rest exactly, but if you play around with the original negative, perhaps you could place some of the lines in a "Z" formation. It is hard to get this kind of deep red and bright yellow (it must've been an overcast day), and the "glow" adds to it.

[Gabriel M.A.]

Here is mine :)
The composition is disparate, but here it doesn't matter (to me), for it captures a moment that only the viewer can experience in their own way. There is a faint background, making me wonder where this is; is this a family fishing, making sandcastles, or just goofing around?

If you crop the left edge of the frame so that the bottom "bottom" is gone, it'd be improved, and perhaps removing a little bit of the top frame. Other than that, I think you have a very nice photo here.

[Gabriel M.A.]

Bump.

Bumpity bump. (adding words because forum says my message is too short; now, it's not that short, is it? What value is there in adding fluff? I don't know. Do you know? Perhaps? Or maybe not. But there it is, the message isn't that short now, is it? I hope not. We'll see. OK, it's in. Thanks, software. you're welcome :eek: )

[Gabriel M.A.]

Paging Flashover and Dave.

Paging Flashover and Dave.

You are needed in Aisle 47.

[flashover]

Here's mine.

Xpan II, 45mm, Kodak HIE, 89B filter. Scan of silver print.

Dave Love the infared look and the air ship gives it science fiction look. The format looks off when viewed on the monitor with the lower half white. I think as a print it would be more striking. Jjohn

[AusDLK]

Sorry, group. Busy at Photokina and sleeping...

I will do my best to post my always thoughtful comments tonight.

[flashover]

Here is mine :)

Nothing like a day digging in the Mud. I like the expresions on their faces. The hazed over face shore gives a feeling of a dam day. I would of like a little lower framing to chatch the action of the liitle one in front (digging in the mud I assume)

[flashover]

Here is my image.


Location: Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee, USA.

Raid the DOF is nice and the color is good, the hint of a few rays of sunlight hitting the leaves. The more I look at it is seams to blur almost like I am getting lost in it. Not sure if that the intent or just me.

[flashover]

Leica M6 + 35mm Ultron f/1.7 / Fuji X-tra 400

This gives me the feeling of a damp cool day that I would rather be inside on. My eye is drawn more to the steam ships on the outer edge. I find the darkened edges distract me from the image some what.

[raid]

John,

I looked at the leaves, and I saw "depth", so I took this photo. One person swears he is seeing a poodle in the background. I used the Angeneiux 70-210 zoom lens with Fujichrome 100.

Raid

[AusDLK]

I apologize for being tardy in offering my critiques. I am in Wetzlar at the LHSA event and Internet access here is limited and expensive.

flashover: Shades of Cartier-Bresson's Behind the Gare Saint-Lazare. Although reversed, the jumping person, a woman in this case, and the corresponding shadow bear an unmistakable resemblance to that famous photograph. However, there is not much else that I can recommend about it. It is not always fair to comment on "print quality" when commenting on digital images but overall this image is too flat -- it just lacks the snap (i.e., sharp contrast) of a beautiful black and white image. Other than the jumping person and her shadow the image just lacks interest -- the background is cluttered with too many points tugging for my eye's attention -- all of which pull my eye away from what has to be the main point of interest. The presence of the boat is both distracting and presents promise. Would a crop that cuts the background and all the dead space on the right produce the sense that the jumping girl is chasing the boat? All in all, the similarity to HCB, whether intentional or accidental, is cool but otherwise this image as presented fails to impress.

raid amin: The colors in this image are wonderfully subdued. The out of focus yellows in the background add a nice depth to the overall image. Looking at the image, though, was unsettling and I decided that the orientation of the image must be wrong -- it looks to be upside down. I rotated the image 180° (put the black circular shapes into the top third of the image) and it registered correctly to my eye. (I was looking at a downloaded image file "File Colors.jpg".) I would have probably cropped a little tighter to eliminate some of the empty space in the lower right (where the out of focus green leaves are). All in all, once oriented the way I think it is supposed to be, this is a very nice image.

shiro_kuro: This is a dynamic image made moderately surreal by the claw things held by a couple of the beachcombers. The hazy background enhances this surreal effect. (Of course, it is not really surreal and it is pretty evident what is going on here.) Compositionally speaking, the image would be greatly improved by an 10x8 crop that eliminates the dead space (and the distracting black blob) on the left of the image. Just lopping off some of this area just to the left of the boy's hand would correct a compositional imbalance and bring the kids' activities more front and center. I love how the kid on the far right is half in and half out of the frame. All in all, I really like this one.

gabrielma: This is a very sharp, intrigue image. My eye is drawn immediately to the lamp on top of the post. From there it is drawn down and along the stones to the right to the people and the ships. I reluctantly force myself to look to the left of the lamp post since there is a lot of image area there. But there is nothing there except for hill and darkness. Compositionally the hope is that the left side of the image nicely balances the far more interesting right side but to my eye it does not. If the idea is for the eye to begin in the darkness on the left and then be drawn to the happier area on the right then this doesn´t work because the lamp post interrupts the flow. Individually there are some beautiful elements in this image (beginning about a third of the way over from the left at the two larger stones) but as presented as a whole it doesn´t quite work.

[raid]

Dave: yes, you are right about the image being upside down. That's a good catch.

Raid
================================
raid amin: The colors in this image are wonderfully subdued. The out of focus yellows in the background add a nice depth to the overall image. Looking at the image, though, was unsettling and I decided that the orientation of the image must be wrong -- it looks to be upside down. I rotated the image 180° (put the black circular shapes into the top third of the image) and it registered correctly to my eye. (I was looking at a downloaded image file "File Colors.jpg".) I would have probably cropped a little tighter to eliminate some of the empty space in the lower right (where the out of focus green leaves are). All in all, once oriented the way I think it is supposed to be, this is a very nice image.
==========================================

[AusDLK]

Raid -- Ah so. Good. I do try my best to be thorough...

[shiro_kuro]

I was curious if any of you could suggest a way to handle the white skies ... filter suggestion ...... it seems my skies are always like this ..... I liked the surreal comment .... never thought that I could use the white skies in a more creative way and will be more aware of this ....... Thanx

[raid]

Shiro: Try using a yellow filter to slightly add some contrast to the sky. With B&W film, the sky often appears as you see it in your photos.

Raid

[shiro_kuro]

John,

I looked at the leaves, and I saw "depth", so I took this photo. One person swears he is seeing a poodle in the background. I used the Angeneiux 70-210 zoom lens with Fujichrome 100.

Raid
My friend was looking over my shoulder while I was looking at your photo and asked me about the poodle ...... Thanks for the filter suggestion I will give it a try ....

[raid]

Shiro-kuro: Yes, the poodle effect is funny.
Let me know how your photos will comeout when using filters.

[Gabriel M.A.]

I think the colors are wonderful . At first I felt the lamp was to centered ..it was the first thing my eyes went to ...Then I saw the man who seems to fixate on the light and ignores the beautiful view ... so I start to see this subtle humor and I like it .... and the more I look the more I like it ........... Now I have to wonder if this was your intentention :) .....if it was not ...light is to centered and I do not like the way everything is bunched up in the right corner

gabrielma: This is a very sharp, intrigue image. My eye is drawn immediately to the lamp on top of the post. From there it is drawn down and along the stones to the right to the people and the ships. I reluctantly force myself to look to the left of the lamp post since there is a lot of image area there. But there is nothing there except for hill and darkness. Compositionally the hope is that the left side of the image nicely balances the far more interesting right side but to my eye it does not. If the idea is for the eye to begin in the darkness on the left and then be drawn to the happier area on the right then this doesn´t work because the lamp post interrupts the flow. Individually there are some beautiful elements in this image (beginning about a third of the way over from the left at the two larger stones) but as presented as a whole it doesn´t quite work.
Excellent, you pointed out virtually all I wanted this photo to do.

shiro_kuro (Charley), you were right, there is a bit of humour in this (I like to find humour in things); I laughed when I saw the man staring at the light, on and off, so I worked my way to the point from where I took this photo. It was a beautiful sunset (to his left) and dusk just lingered on, nice shades of pink and purple on that horizon, but he'd just frequently look towards the post.

AusDLK (Dave), I understand your "distraction". I'm beginning to shoot more pictures that I think would have more "distracting" elements, and then compensate with straight-forward non-mind-challenging (or, rather, eye-challenging?) ones. People like adherence to rules and clichés (subtle and explicit). And that's what drew me to this scene: the cliché of the beautiful sunset (not seen) and the aftermath, dusk (seen), in a quiet, desolate (almost abandoned) landscape; there are many other elements "worthy" of contemplation, and the man is contemplating the lamp.

Hence why I put the lamp post right in the middle, forcing you to see it, also dividing "emptiness" and "busy-ness". This is during the first weeks of palpable Spring (if you look carefully, the river is flooded -- a sure sign of Spring taking over, here in Minne-so-tah), and what we tend to do during the first days of Spring is focus on the landscape.

This frame is a little bit curled, and a few parts of the scan exhibit this; I've been trying to scan it properly, without success. I don't want to correct the image with Photoshop, but that may be the only recourse.

Thanks, all. :)