Critique #9 Theme *Portrait* (5/1)

[RayPA]

By request a thematic critique thread

Welcome to this critique thread. Please read the purpose statement and the guidelines/ground rules regarding participation.

Purpose
The primary purpose of this thread is to provide a forum where photographers can give and receive constructive criticism on one another's photographs. By setting up some basic guidelines we hope that this thread will provide a forum where the give and take of honest constructive criticism can help us become better photographers.

Guidelines/Ground Rules
The thread has very specific rules regarding participation. The one basic rule is that you cannot provide criticism on an image or comment in a critique thread unless you also have an image posted. To post an image to this thread you must be a participant. Participation in this thread is limited. Here are the guidelines and ground rules for participation:

• Participation in this thread is limited to 5 photographers
• Participants join the thread by posting their intention. You can simply reply with your intent to join by posting something like: "I'm joining," "I'm in," or just state your name
• Joining is on a "first come, first served" basis. The first 5 to reply become the participants
• Once the thread has 5 participants, no other photographers can join or participate in the thread
• Once the thread is full of participants all photographers will upload their image(s)
• Please abide by any thematic requirement (e.g., landscape, portrait, etc.)
•The number of photos for each participant is limited to one
• Photographers attach photos as thumbnails (no inline images or links)
• Photographers post their images supplying titles (if any) and other pertinent information (the amount of information should be minimal)
• Photographers can only comment on their own images and reply to comments only when everyone else in the thread has posted their comments on the image
• Every participant must comment on every photo (except their own—initially)
• Every participant must make at least two comments, one positive comment, and one constructive criticism (which is actually two positive comments)
• Once every photographer has commented then a free flowing discussion begins. It is at this point that every photographer can comment on their own work and reply to comments, ask questions, etc.
• The participants decide when the thread closes.


If you'd like to participate in a critique thread and need some ideas about how to proceed with viewing images critically, you may find this thread helpful:

How do you look at photos (http://www.rangefinderforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26459)

You can also provide feedback on critique threads here:

Critique Feedback Thread (http://www.rangefinderforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26611)

Remember: Please do not provide criticism on an image or comment in a critique thread unless you also have an image posted.

This thread is now active, please follow the guidelines if you'd like to participate! Have Fun!



.

[Rich Silfver]

I'm IN ... :)

[ferider]

I'm in, too, but I can only post tonight. Hope that's OK.

Roland.

[AOI Photo]

I am In. Time to go through the negatives.

[fgianni]

Count me in.

[BudGreen]

Okay. I'll give it a shot.

[BudGreen]

Looks like that's five. Here's mine...

"Mancala" Leica M7, Summilux 35, Tri-X

[Rich Silfver]

Guess that's five then :)

Ok, here's mine.

[ferider]

Found a way to post it now.

"Tipsy", 90/2.8 Tele Elmarit

Cheers,

Roland.

[fgianni]

And a bit late here is mine, my daughter with her favourite toy:

[AOI Photo]

Trapped
Both Negatives Hp5+ Bessa R with J 8

[Rich Silfver]

Bud Green's photo 'Mancala'

I think this is an example where using a portrait format - instead of landscape - really works. The reason for that is the way the game board leads the viewer into the image. I like the tones as well. Not seeing his eyes also gives more of an impression of how candid the photo is. Well done.

If I were to add any criticism here it would be the crop on top.
There are two common 'schools' of head crops;
a) To leave some space above the head, and/or
b) To crop through the head at a 'comfortable' point.

The 'comfortable point' is pretty subjective and in this image I would had cropped just a tad more of his head so you don't see the curve of his head where it starts to round upwards.


ferider's photo 'Tipsy':
Love the coloured tint/tones here. It adds an 'old time'-feel to the image that goes very well with the chosen subject.
The reflection is obvously a huge plus here.
I really like this one.

Part of me would like that the bottom crop allowed for the full pearl necklace to be included as the full swoop of that curve would had been a nice compliment to the image.
Shifting 2-3 inches to the left may also had allowed you to move the mirror image a bit away from the right hand edge.
Was this a posed image or a candid snap?
Regardless, nice.


fgianni's photo of his daughter and her favorite toy:
Just like in the other images I here like that there is no direct eye contact with the viewer as it strengthens the candidness of the image.
It's a tender moment. Captured well.

Technically I do feel that it's more grainy than what I personally prefer.
Not sure if this was shot at a high ISO and the grain is due to that.
If you are interested you can use products like NeatImage, etc to remove much of the grain and smoothen out the tones. It works pretty well.
From a crop/composition perspective I think it may be a bit centered,
Your daughter is cutting the image into two halfes in the middle of it.
I would had tried to cut out some at the bottom.
The crop to the right is somewhat uncomfortable and I would had tried to move the crop either up (above waist) or down a bit.


AOI Photo 'Trapped':
Different take on 'portrait' ;)
Technically this is very well done. The image lends itself really well to a centered composition as it is so structurally even and balanced and you composed that really well with an almost exact amount of space to the left and right.
I like the sloppy borders as well.
Artistically I feel that the image itself is not 'enough'. It would be a great background for something - but as a photo of the mural itself it is just that. A photo of a mural - even though technically it is well done.

[fgianni]

Oops, forgot to post the detail, M4-P summicron 35 4th and delta 3200 rated at 1600.

[ferider]

ferider's photo 'Tipsy':
Love the coloured tint/tones here. It adds an 'old time'-feel to the image that goes very well with the chosen subject.
The reflection is obvously a huge plus here.
I really like this one.

Part of me would like that the bottom crop allowed for the full pearl necklace to be included as the full swoop of that curve would had been a nice compliment to the image.
Shifting 2-3 inches to the left may also had allowed you to move the mirror image a bit away from the right hand edge.
Was this a posed image or a candid snap?
Regardless, nice.


Thank you Rich. It was candid, like "look at the camera, I promise not to expose too much ...", so I was limited in cropping ...

Cheers,

Roland.

[AOI Photo]

Bud Greene:
I really like this photo. I always admire portraits taken with a wider lens as it is a skill I am totally lacking. I love the slight elongation of the arm. I would probably crop down a little from the top. Perhaps cropping just below the horizontal board. I love the look of intense concentration on the board. The total unawareness the subject has for the camera.

Rich:
Love the arrangement of the figures, and the look on the little boys face. I like the high contrast as well. Expecially since I spent so long as a portrait photographer with subject demanding no shadows. The only thing i can really think of is the women's face. Due I'm sure to the amount of light I find her eyes bbeing squinted to produce a little bit of a pained feeling. Unfortunately we can't always move the sun :) If we could many of my shots would have been saved. I do love the way your eye is drawn to the central figure.


Ferider:
I really like this image. Love the crop and compisition. I like the tightness of it, and of course the shallow dof. I love the use of out of focus reflection. I like the toning, but might reduce the intensity of it some for a subtler effect. The feel of the image is very nice.

fgianni
I like the spontaneous nature of the photo. The grain and the slight softness due to the low light/ high speed. I feel this adds to the feeling of intamacy.
I would be tempted to either tighten the crop to just show the child, toy and couch(?) she is on. Or loosen it up. IT seems a little too close to filling the frame ,without filling the frame. Nice Moment.

[fgianni]

Bud Green
I really like both the composition and the subject, expecially the way the board leads the eye into the photograph, the first thing I thought was that it looked a subject and a composition suited to an X-Pan, maybe you could try to crop on the sides just to see how it looks.


ferider
A great candid with a nice aged tone, the out of focus reflection is really what makes the picture, If I really have to find something to critique, I may have liked a less tight crop.


AOI Photo
Vey good idea, sure the subject lends itself to the bold centred composition you used, a very original and well execute concept, the only critique is that the scream looks just a bit unconvincig; also, I know what I am about to say sounds like an heresy, but I would have liked the girl in colur on the monochrome wall.

Rich
I really like the composition, and the way the subjects have been arranged, I also like the fact that you took it from a low point of view, a very good family portrait, maybe just a tad of fill-in could have helped with the harsh shadows, but it is really a minor point.

[fgianni]

fgianni's photo of his daughter and her favorite toy:
Just like in the other images I here like that there is no direct eye contact with the viewer as it strengthens the candidness of the image.
It's a tender moment. Captured well.

Technically I do feel that it's more grainy than what I personally prefer.
Not sure if this was shot at a high ISO and the grain is due to that.
If you are interested you can use products like NeatImage, etc to remove much of the grain and smoothen out the tones. It works pretty well.
From a crop/composition perspective I think it may be a bit centered,
Your daughter is cutting the image into two halfes in the middle of it.
I would had tried to cut out some at the bottom.
The crop to the right is somewhat uncomfortable and I would had tried to move the crop either up (above waist) or down a bit.


Thanks for your constructive criticism, is a crop like this one you were thinking about?

Regarding the grain, I have Neat image and use it regularly on digital photos, but for some reason while NI it works great on digital, I only manage to get a plasticky look with film scans.

[BudGreen]

Rich,
Outstanding shot, Rich, both technically and in the way you’ve captured the personality of the subjects. I love the progression of expressions from the sneer of the mother to the slightly apprehensive look of the child. This shot is full of many types of contrast, all of which add interest to the photo. If I had one criticism, I guess it would be that the strong shadows on the father obscure his face a little, but the shadows are also part of what gives this photo its bite.

ferider,
This is a very sensitive portrait; intimate, but not intrusive. I love the use of the mirror and the soft tinted tones. My first instinct was that it could use a little more contrast, but on further consideration, I like it as it is. To echo Rich, I suppose it would be nice to see the full drape of the necklace. Either way it’s a great photo.

fgianni
What I like about this photo is how you’ve captured a relaxed and unguarded moment with your daughter. This is the kind of photo only a parent can take. I like the angle of view and composition, and the grain does not bother me. It does seem a little soft to me overall. A little more sharpness around the subject would have helped isolate her from the out-of-focus areas. Nice work regardless.

AOI Photo,
I would say that this is a well-conceived and well-executed photo. At first I thought that this was a double exposure, but I see that in you’re description you mention “both” negatives, so I’m assuming they were overlaid afterward. It does strike me as a little contrived. This may be in part because as has been mentioned, the scream is not quite convincing. It’s a fun shot nonetheless.

[Rich Silfver]

Thanks for your constructive criticism, is a crop like this one you were thinking about?

Hi,
now seeing your crop I'm thinking I'd shave even more off on the right hand side. Maybe even up on her arm. This would however make it a square and not sure how it lends itself to that. OR leave the crop on the right as you have it now but allow for more of the space above her to remain.
I'm not sure here...maybe a really close crop around her face and toy?
Hmm....

[BudGreen]

Thanks everyone for the great feedback and advice on cropping. I wrestled with the crop on the top edge of the photo quite a bit before posting it. Taking a little more of the top seemed to work pretty well. The result is in my gallery if you're interested in how it turned out.

[AOI Photo]

My appreciation to everyone on their comments.
The image is indeed made from two negatives. Stacked in the carrier, and dodged and burned like crazy.
The feedback on the scream being unrealistic is appreciated. When I decided to try this, I grabbed the most convienenet person (my younger sister who could be at the house in five minutes) perhaps I should try it again with a model. (also I'd make sure she wasn't dressed in whit, what a nightmare that was in printing)

Thanks.

[ferider]

Sorry for being a bit late. Here are my thoughts:

BudGreen:

Hmm, I like the picture, but wasn't really successful in analyzing
why. Maybe because I don't haver enough formal background. I bounce back
between the boy and the game, I think the composition, the DOF and the
colors lead me to this. I wonder who the skinny boy is who is playing
the game with me, very concentrated, so I have time to observe him. I do like
the slightly assymetric crop as is.

Rich:

Interesting. High quality (medium format?) family portrait. The family
doesn't seem to happy to be photographed. I like the different expressions
on the three faces. Boy is curious, dad obviously gave the OK, the mom
is stand-back'ish almost making fun of the photographer. Then I get
drawn into the tatoos, lots of details, I wish I could read what's on
her chest ...

Francesco:

nice portrait of a child with her favorite toy. I like the tones and contrast and the DOF.
It is a bit too grainy though, so much that I wonder if it was an extreme crop of a
bigger composition. I am sure the girl will looking at the photo in an album when
she is older !

AOI Photo:

Very impressive. I have never seen this done before. I will remember
this. I wonder if this is part of a series that could tell me more about
the background ? Or is it just a single statement ?

Thanks all, feel the critique threads have made RFF even more fun than before.

Roland.

[Rich Silfver]

Rich:

Interesting. High quality (medium format?) family portrait. The family
doesn't seem to happy to be photographed. I like the different expressions
on the three faces. Boy is curious, dad obviously gave the OK, the mom
is stand-back'ish almost making fun of the photographer. Then I get
drawn into the tatoos, lots of details, I wish I could read what's on
her chest ...


Thanks. Nope, just your regular 35mm film.
The 'story' behind the photo is as follows:
I was walking through the arcade on the boardwalk down in Santa Cruz when I spotted the couple and their son. I asked them if they'd mind me taking a photo of them and they said sure. We stepped outside. The sun was really harsh and I snapped two shots. This is one of them. :)

[AOI Photo]

Sorry for being a bit late. Here are my thoughts:


AOI Photo:

Very impressive. I have never seen this done before. I will remember
this. I wonder if this is part of a series that could tell me more about
the background ? Or is it just a single statement ?

Thanks all, feel the critique threads have made RFF even more fun than before.

Roland.

Single statement. I hope to do a series, this was just an idea that occoured at about 8:00 at night. Called my sister to see if she owuld ocme over, put her against a black backdrop and shot. The next day I took some shots of brick walls, then the printing fun started. The interestignt hing is when I came to do a digital version I tried scannig the negatives sperately and comining in photoshop. Didn't work at all. I had to sandwich the negatives into the carrier, scan it that way, and then do pretty mych the same dodging and burning I did in the labe, but in Photoshop. Now that I've learned how to do this, I may truy a series.