View Full Version : what do you tell your wife?
So, do you guys tell your wives/significant other everything including each and every photographic aquisition? Is she the holder of the purse strings? Does she understand when you explain why a particular item is needed/wanted/a good deal? Does she veto your requests?
I'm just wondering how it works for other married folks. I sometimes "shield" my wife from the truth. As Jack Nicholson once said: "Truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!"
Rich Silfver
09-14-2004, 11:47
I think I use the same approach as you Frank.
I simply make sure there's money for the non-photographic projects first...THEN I look at photo-/camera purchases.
As long as the two don't clash - and as long as the non-camera projects/purchases are prioritized then there is often 'no reason to tell' :)
There is no way that I could 'shield' my wife from any latest acquisition! Her all seeing eyes miss nothing in the house! :) All I could do is to tell her that this will be the last item to be bought! It is the lamest excuse I could think of.
I have a special arrangement with the UPS deliveryman. He leaves my packages in the bushes.
I follow a don't ask, don't tell policy. I keep things under control so that she has, not wants her stuff, and I try to do the same for myself.
One of the advantages of having lost count of the number of cameras one has (over 50) is that a new one doesn't stand out. All types are represented: LF field/press/rail, MF slr/tlr/rangefinder, and 35mm slr/rangefinder.
I use money made from weddings and portraits (as opposed to my real job) to aquire more stuff, but even this is a contentious issue sometimes especially when I can't argue that I need something to further my sideline business.
back alley
09-14-2004, 15:03
i think you guys are brave talking about this stuff in public!
Originally posted by backalley photo
i think you guys are brave talking about this stuff in public!
I got a good idea from this thread. I plan on having a cup of coffee ready for the UPS guy when he swings by tomorrow, we need to talk about some special delivery instructions.
Originally posted by backalley photo
i think you guys are brave talking about this stuff in public!
The following may not be pollitically correct butI believe it nonetheless:
I think that a lot of married men face similar "challenges". Males and females are different physically (yah!) and psychologically (darn!). Males typically are less communicative (to their own detriment.)
A like-minded group like this (rangefinder forum) is a good place for men to get in touch with their "feminine side" and talk about issues we have in common. Don't be afraid of this opportunity to do so.
Originally posted by Oldprof
I have a special arrangement with the UPS deliveryman. He leaves my packages in the bushes.
LOL, Oldprof :D
That's the best line I've read all week!
Gene
She never asks. I never volunteer. She is so used to seeing me with a camera glued to my head, I don't think she ever notices if its a rangefinder, SLR, or view camera!
Cool!
back alley
09-14-2004, 19:31
so frank, just what do you do for a day job?
joe
oh and just for the record guys, this is one of the many reasons i enjoy my life without a partner.
j
When I retired early (I was a corporate burnout) I told my wife that I wouldn't use "our" money to feed my various habits. Until our recent move I was fortunate enough to have a part time job in a pro camera store that provided "my" money. Anticipating being unemployed after the move, I sold everything that I thought was surplus to my needs/likes and built a cushion. When that's gone we may have to renegotiate.
The only time that didn't totally level with her was years ago I collected Colt National Match pistols and more than once when she asked me if I'd gotten a new gun, I'd hold up a blue .45 with walnut grips and say, "No, honey, you've seen this one before."
Joe, if I told you what I do for a real job, you'd just start to hate me. Everyone hates teachers, right?
Gerry, since all of my camera aquisitions are used cameras, if my wife ever asks me, "Is that a new camera?" I can answer honestly, "No. It's an old camera."
back alley
09-14-2004, 20:00
i like teachers, lived with one for many years.
and you teach...?
joe
SolaresLarrave
09-14-2004, 20:09
Frank, I'm a teacher. I teach Spanish and Spanish American literature at the college level, and, most of the time, my wife doesn't care much whether I have a new camera or not. One day she told me she was waiting for this "photography" thing of mine to run out eventually.
However, when she wants to convince me of going with her somewhere she'll inevitably say: "You can take your cameras with and get good shots."
Gotta love her... :)
I taught English in a private language school near Osaka, Japan during my first teaching year after graduating from Queens University Faculty of Education in Kingston, Ontario. Since then I've taught elementary school (grades 2 to 5) near Toronto, Ontario for 17 years. I've taught a photography night course at the college level and also a private B+W printing course. One of the things I love about photography is that I'm still learning myself, which I think is essential for a teacher to be doing.
back alley
09-14-2004, 20:25
and you thought i wouldn't like you cause of that?
it's because i don't use capital letters isn't it?;)
joe
Originally posted by backalley photo
and you thought i wouldn't like you cause of that?
it's because i don't use capital letters isn't it?;)
joe
It's been a tough last 9 years here in Ontario with a government that did a lot of teacher-bashing so I guess I'm just on the defensive. I wouldn't choose a different career though, I feel it's decent and honourable. I have children myself and I try to be the kind of teacher that I hope my children have.
As for the lack of capital letters, no problem, the most important thing is to communicate your ideas clearly and you have been most successful in that! It's kind of funny, I'm a really poor speller!
back alley
09-14-2004, 20:40
frank, i feel your pain!
i live in alberta, land of the oil baron and the p.c. party. i'm starting to take their policies personally.
health care, teachers and the list goes on. if you ever watch the news and see a demonstration against the provincial government - look for a short, fat bald guy!! oh yeah, he'll be carrying a canon p with him.
joe
And soon I'll be the guy with the Canon vi L - hopefully!
Pherdinand
09-15-2004, 03:30
Well i'm not even married yet but my girlfriend already asked" Ok, ok, but why TWO of that brick-looking two-eyed old camera? They are exactly the same!"
And i couldn't even give a good excuse to that:) so i mumbled something like "well,umm,not exxxactly the same"
But then I gave her a 20x20 cm print of the flute-playing girl and she loves it, so - no more questions since :)
wierdcollector
09-15-2004, 05:28
We have "our money", "your money", and "my money". You might think of it as either an allowance or mad money. Either way, I try and show or tell my wife every time I go to the border or post office to pick up my newest camera(s) but generally she just says," that's nice" and walks away. Strange response for a woman who took portraits for over 12 years, but the photograph, not the equipment is what interests her. Good thing too, because when I think of all the money I've "invested" over the years I sometimes think,' You know, most of these are worth a lot more now on Ebay and...."
oftheherd
09-15-2004, 05:38
Originally posted by Oldprof
I have a special arrangement with the UPS deliveryman. He leaves my packages in the bushes.
I wondered why my wife insisted I trim the bushes to where nothing can be hidden in them. I thought is was for security. sigh. :bang:
>> what do you tell your wife?
Opps! I didn't realize I needed to tell her :D :D
Actually, she never asks, nor do I volunteer. She asked me once how much the toys in my other hobby cost (radio controlled turbine powered jet aircraft), to which I took a deep breath and replied, "You don't want to know.". She said ok and went on about her business. (That was close!).
She's getting me a cabinet so we can keep things neat and tidy, our apartment's only a 1 bedroom, 600sqft total. She did gasp when she saw the chest that I currently use to store my camera's in :).
The dreb is "our" camera, so she's involved with what I buy for it.
She also has a Minolta XTsi, which I will occasionally pick up something for as well.
Occasionally, I'll remind her of the 3 75lb SMD drives that I had for my Sun server at one time, and that camera's are much smaller :).
Oh yeah... my stuff gets shipped to me at work, not home.
Easy;
So far my rangefinder expenditures include:
- 5$ Oly Trip 35
- 25$ (US) Zorki 4
- 15$ Canonet QL17
- 10$ for 10 rolls of T400 that expired 1999
- 2.50$ per roll for processing (negs only)
She just signed up for a 300$ pottery course.
Originally posted by vladhed
Easy;
So far my rangefinder expenditures include:
- 5$ Oly Trip 35
- 25$ (US) Zorki 4
- 15$ Canonet QL17
- 10$ for 10 rolls of T400 that expired 1999
- 2.50$ per roll for processing (negs only)
She just signed up for a 300$ pottery course.
$300, then you still have room for a Konica Auto S3 and a Minolta Himatic 7SII.
After you aquire those, get back to us.:cool:
Great thread. I need to talk to our delivery guys...
I do photography on the side, so the money I make is my play money. Although, I always seem to have a revolving balance on that credit card....grr....
I usually tell my people that I'm not purchasing cameras, I'm SAVING them from the cruel outer world where they'd end being converted into an ashtray.
Of course, they don't trust me.
Brian Sweeney
10-28-2004, 13:33
Oscar, given some of the prices that I have seen on EBay, tell they are an investment. For instance, show them what a Black Nikon F2 Photomic with lens and case goes for!
I'm going to have to read through this thread again. Last night I picked up a used Bessa R with a 35mm Ultron and 25mm Skopar. In all fairness I bought her a digital camera at the same time, but I haven't yet figured out how to break the news of the Bessa. She is too observant for me to claim "well honey I've had that camera for a long time, you didn't notice?"
Thankfully she's fairly indulgent in my hobbies, and this was purchased with "my money," but she may be a little miffed this close to the holidays. Plus, while she is always happy with more pictures, it is hard to explain why I need another camera.
SRMC
By the way, I greatly enjoy the civility of this forum. My first camera (nearly 30 years ago) was a Canon QL17, and it is still one of my favorite cameras. After finding this place I could not avoid buying a Zorki 4, and that reignited preference for rangefinders.
Thanks for the advice Brian, I'll try that new concept ! :D
SRMC, welcome to the forum! and btw, good luck ! ;)
back alley
10-28-2004, 14:39
a new guy!
welcome srmc.
joe
jon_flanders
10-28-2004, 15:15
What do you tell your wife? Well, how about " With these old cameras you need to have one for parts." This is actually true.
If that fails, get home earlier from work than she does.
Jon Flanders
Honu-Hugger
10-28-2004, 19:20
Originally posted by FrankS
Joe, if I told you what I do for a real job, you'd just start to hate me. Everyone hates teachers, right?...(snip)
I'm a little late on this thread but had to add that I have always held teachers in the highest esteem -- some perhaps "hero" status in my life.
As for the wife: I feel fortunate -- she appreciates my hobbies. It probably helps that she never asks about the cost -- there are a few lenses she might not see the "value" in :D
D2
Thanks Doug,
Teachers are like dentists I think, in that if you've had a bad experience with one, you tend to generalize and dislike (teachers) or fear (dentists) all of them. I have a strong fear of dentists due to bad childhood experiences with them. As for teachers, there are some who should not be there, given the powerful nature of their role in young people's lives. I try to follow a saying that I've heard applied to medical practice: "First, do no harm."
Honu-Hugger
10-29-2004, 04:58
Frank, everyone knows that Dentists are evil and to be feared:D (Dentists on the list -- just kidding!) My Dentist is great, but I still take 20mg of Valium and have her use Nitrous for any procedure -- that tool work (even a cleaning) against my teeth just makes me squirm!
My second grade teacher illustrated how a bi-metal strip (as in a thermostat) works with her own drawing on the blackboard, only she had it backwards. Being only a second grader with little sense of tact (and perhaps still lacking in that area) I corrected her, which embarassed her in front of the class. She held the grudge against me for the rest of the school year (I suppose I should have slipped her a private note instead). Bad Teacher! But, so many good ones and even a few great ones. I still think of a few high school teachers and college professors almost daily. It is the most honorable profession.
D2
Gee, Doug, you had a GREAT school to teach about bimetalic strips, and presumably differences in thermal expansion for different materials -- in second grade! And amazing for you to be so knowledgeable as to know she had it backwards...
I mostly remember second-grade because of the pretty young blonde teacher, Miss Niece, who had a blue Ford. Most of us guys were in love with her. So it was especially embarassing when I got a dime stuck up my nose, and cried in front of her. :D
I was just in the dentist chair yesterday for a cleaning... and as usual got a few snapshots of the hygienist and the dentist poking at my teeth. Makes the visit a bit more pleasant.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! A dime stuck up your nose! How hilarious! Oh, sorry.
khingdheano
10-29-2004, 11:47
Even though we earn equal amounts in our household, my wife manages the finances, her being an accountant and all... I never know how much money is available, so I always assume we're broke. We ought to be, because I am always spending it. I can reasonably get away with about 50 bucks a month for the camera addiction with no questions asked. But it's a good thing I have some self-control, because my wonderful esposa just will not tell me "no" when I come up with some outlandish expenditure. I mean, if I REALLY wanted a Leica M7,and could come up with some kind of plausible reason why it would be a good thing, she'd let me do it. But then she'd go off in the bathroom and cry. So I exercise the self-control. LOL, self control, right---- that's why I've spent $3500 on cameras in the last 12 months. And my wife still loves me!
Honu-Hugger
10-29-2004, 12:56
Originally posted by Doug
Gee, Doug, you had a GREAT school to teach about bimetalic strips, and presumably differences in thermal expansion for different materials -- in second grade! And amazing for you to be so knowledgeable as to know she had it backwards...(snip)
Well, it wasn't exactly metallurgy and thermodynamics:D, but for whatever reason it was being discussed. The fact that I realized she had it backwards owes more to her clear explanation of the process than any prowess on my part. Nevertheless, I believe she hated me from that day on! (She was also the teacher all the schoolboys had a crush on)
D2
Kind of a weird attraction/repulsion thing, eh? The way like poles of a magnet attract eachother.:D
pshinkaw
11-01-2004, 06:11
This is a neighbor of my mother-in-law in Englewood, Colorado. He collects farm tractors. His wife lets him display two on the front lawn, the rest are out on his farm. He periodically rotates new tractors through the display. He also decorates them with Christmas lights (in season of course) and gives rides to the children in the neighborhood.
After seeing this, my family decided that camera collections were comparatively innocouous.
By the way, this was taken on Fuji Neopan 400 with a Kiev-4A and a Helios 103. 1/500@f11.
-Paul
Paul
How do you like the Neopan 400? I love the stuff. I've always felt that if I leave the Pacific Northwest, that I would return to the Front Range (Fort Collins, CO) a wonderful area. Not as conducive to street shooting though. (Not even Denver). Cool shot. Are you living in that area?
Russ
pshinkaw
11-01-2004, 06:45
This was just a visit. I picked up a half dozen rolls of Neopan 400 at an out-dated film sale for half-price. (one-month expired) and have been trying it out. It is a nice film. The scan and subsequent re-sizing above doesn't do justice to the tonal range that is actually on the film. I may buy a 100 foot roll of this film. I think I may prefer it over Tri-X.
-Paul
Originally posted by pshinkaw
This was just a visit. I picked up a half dozen rolls of Neopan 400 at an out-dated film sale for half-price. (one-month expired) and have been trying it out. It is a nice film. The scan and subsequent re-sizing above doesn't do justice to the tonal range that is actually on the film. I may buy a 100 foot roll of this film. I think I may prefer it over Tri-X.
-Paul
Paul
Tri-X and HP-5, are very good films. I grew up on the stuff. But ever since I discovered the Neopan 400, ( 6 years ago) I have completely abandoned the other one's. I burn my Neopan 400 @ 320, usually through a deep yellow (#15) filter, and I get the most beautiful negatives. The Neopan 1600, is also very good. The Delta 400 is a close second, in my opinion. The grain & tonality of the Neopan 400 is unbeatable. B/W Photography did a review of the seven 400 speed B/W films, and guess which one won out handily?
Russ
What do you tell your wife? Well, today I thought I'd try NOTHING. We went out to see some tall ships that were visiting the city, and took our daughter to see some trains. I took my new black Bessa R along for a test run without saying anything about having an new camera. My two other rangefinders are silver. She kept looking at it hanging on my shoulder but never asked if it was new. Plus, it certainly looked different from my other cameras as it had the 25mm viewfinder on it. Maybe it worked. We'll see . . .
Steve
Steve, you'll find out tonight!
Originally posted by SRMC
What do you tell your wife? Well, today I thought I'd try NOTHING. We went out to see some tall ships that were visiting the city, and took our daughter to see some trains. I took my new black Bessa R along for a test run without saying anything about having an new camera. My two other rangefinders are silver. She kept looking at it hanging on my shoulder but never asked if it was new. Plus, it certainly looked different from my other cameras as it had the 25mm viewfinder on it. Maybe it worked. We'll see . . .
Steve
This reminds me of the time when the wife killed her husband in his sleep, she then took a ....
Russ
hoppinghippos
11-08-2004, 01:14
Originally posted by Russ
This reminds me of the time when the wife killed her husband in his sleep, she then took a ....
Russ
This reminded me of the Mr and Mrs Bobbit some years back...
She just hit me up for a $2,500 tuition check, due today. I think I am good for a little while.
laurentvenet
11-08-2004, 07:35
You're lucky Russ. But women are very clever to notice minor changes.
I've just sold a blue Fed 3 today, as I 've been a bit unwise buying recently : olympus 35sp, bessa R , olympus 35 rc, non working olympus 35 ec, yashica 35, russian mir, Kiev 35A and I had before a pentax slr, zenith zlr and nikon coolpix.
I guess I'll have to offer some of them to my father, just to find an excuse for this massive and unexpected need of buying...
It's not easy to resist, there are so many pretty and interesting little rangefinders : petri, canon.... and each of those RF is interesting.
st3ph3nm
11-11-2004, 23:32
My wife and I nearly broke up over the way I didn't tell her anything - especially bad news or money stuff. In fact, a number of years ago we *did* break up. But after 3 months I managed to get back in her good books again. Anyway, after that, I've learnt how important it is to communicate. If I've just GOT to have that camera, sportscar, whatever, then we'll talk about it, work out whether it fits in the budget, and then decide together. I'll never forget the conversation for the Datsun 2000 Sports: "But it's only got two seats". "Yes, and there's only two of us!". :)
Communication works best for me, I've found. But then, we've only a relatively small income, so some weeks, even $50 is a big deal.
Cheers,
Steve
st3ph3nm
11-11-2004, 23:37
Frank, IMO, it's beyond me why teachers aren't as respected as much as doctors. Well, it's not beyond me, but here's the problem: It's too easy to get into teaching, so you get many people doing it and hating it, and therefore doing a bad job.
If you guys got paid what you're worth, of course, the universities could get more selective about who gets into teaching, and the prestige of the role would increase, and therefore you'd get more good quality people *wanting* to do it. However, it would mean more money on schools and less on tanks.
Still, it'd be nice to see the wives and mothers of our armed forces doing a cake sale to save for the next AFV, while our teachers got paid good money teaching our kids how to avoid needing them...
Cheers,
Steve
(hopeless utopian idealist)
Well, I didn't tell my wife I bought a 160G Harddisk two days ago. Now the post came.. bad timing.. she was home, I was at work..
Now I'm not allowed to open it until she says it's ok.. :(
And I was seriously considering sneaking in a Bessa .. but I guess that has to wait..
Ah, women... can't live with them.. can't shoot them.. well, you _can_ on photo ;)
Don't have a wife (thank gwad), but however I do have one of those girl friend things...
Lucky for me she's in med school and is either too busy learning some new gastly way to die or stressing out. She knows I have cameras and photographic realated stuff, but the exact number is unknown to her and I like it that way. Mind you I'm struggling to remember the last time I saw in the same pair of shoes twice.
But it's the new wargames armies she dosen't like. "You paid how much for it, and YOU have to paint it!".
My parents are very critical of new cameras. My Dad's family is photographically educated and he can spot new camera at 300 yards. When they saw my first Bessa R I got the "You've already got a Hasselblad, why do you need this? And what about the big plate camera (my 8x10) when did you use that last? You should be saving your money to buy a house, so you can start a family... and the silly sports car of yours, you need to sell that and buy nice sensible four door or station wagon, 'cause you won't fit a wife and baby in that, blah blah blah blah blah blah..."
You get the idea.
Mind you the girl friend does share her name with a Contax, this could be a good omen.
Stu :)
Originally posted by st3ph3nm
Still, it'd be nice to see the wives and mothers of our armed forces doing a cake sale to save for the next AFV, while our teachers got paid good money teaching our kids how to avoid needing them...
Cheers,
Steve
(hopeless utopian idealist)
I think that's how New Zealand's armed forces got their new AFVs and field radios... no wait, sorry. That's right we sold half of the South Island to Shania Twain and rest soon to Cher <shudder> that's how the armed forces do a "Cake Sale" here.
Stu :)
Aria Stu? or IIa?
I have to tone down my father about my cameras. He tends to blow my cover. This is one reason I can't buy a Leica, he would make such a big deal about it the wife would definitely know something big was going on.
Parents, God bless them, always have your long-term interests at heart... especially in encouraging some grandchildren!
st3ph3nm
11-12-2004, 12:41
Stu, wargames armies? What era? I play a lot of WWII - but fortunately, I've got some mates with such large collections that I've never had to buy an army. One of my brothers plays a bit of ancients and a bit of Warhammer 40k
Cheers,
Steve
Originally posted by Russ
B/W Photography did a review of the seven 400 speed B/W films, and guess which one won out handily?Russ
Russ do you happen to recall the month/year of that comparison review?
I'd like to read it.
Originally posted by peter_n
Russ do you happen to recall the month/year of that comparison review?
I'd like to read it.
Peter
I believe that it was February 2002. If you can't locate it, let me know, and I'll send you a copy of it. Quite a good review. It just reaffirmed what I had felt for quite some time now. That the Fuji Neopan 400 is incredible, and the Ilford Delta 400, is also very good. The Neopan 400, is an "old" style grained film. Not one of the newer "Tabular" grained films. Yet it has much tighter, nicer grain than Tri-X & HP-5. And wonderful tonality. Once I discovered it, it's about all that I use in the 400 speed range.
Russ
Thanks for the pointer, Russ. :) I'll try to find it and if I can't I'll PM you.
Rover, her name is Aria. But I'm pretty sure there are some Contaxphiles out there who would call their IIa their GF...
Originally posted by st3ph3nm
Stu, wargames armies? What era? I play a lot of WWII - but fortunately, I've got some mates with such large collections that I've never had to buy an army. One of my brothers plays a bit of ancients and a bit of Warhammer 40k
Cheers,
Steve
My main era is Renaissance (7 armies and counting), but I have many other period armies (900 BC - 1998 AD). I've got a Flames of War Early British army and a FoW French Foreign Legion army in the pipeline. Also I've been really keen on 1890-1914 Naval Warfare in the past year scratch building three 1:1200th fleets.
Also I'm going to be over in your part of the world next year for the IWF! Are you going?
Stu :)
http://www.geocities.com/northshore_wargames/
st3ph3nm
11-16-2004, 13:14
Oh, well, you'll like this then:
http://www.nwa.org.au/dbr/dbr.html
The Swedes here are my older brothers'. I probably won't be going to IWF, but he will be! Mind you, I might stick my head in, you can get some great photos at those events.
Cheers,
Steve
vBulletin® v3.6.8, Copyright ©2000-2013, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.